Top Ten

A lot of you who read this blog are already moms, but some of you are about to join the club in the next few months. This post is definitely for the latter, but could be for the former. Here's what I've found I couldn't have made it through the past mont without! About half of these items I expected to use as I planned for the hypothetical child I would raise. The other half of the items are items that my REAL child has needed. After all, babies are rarely what we expect. :)

Brest Friend

A friend recommended that I not only get the standard Boppy but also this little gem. After two days I was so grateful for the advice. This pillow is AWESOME! Not only does it strap on to you, but it also has back support. And a pocket for stuff. And two built in "bumps" to help support baby's head. When learning how to do the whole breastfeeding thing, it's awesome to have more support for the little one. I was afraid I would regret getting two pillows for breastfeeding, but I can't imagine not having this! I LOVE it!

Aden + Anais Sleeping Bag

If you troll any mommy sites, surely you've seen Aden + Anais products. They're beautiful, modern, and expensive. But let me tell you, EVERY SINGLE PRODUCT I have of theirs I LOVE! I picked up one of their sleeping bags on a whim when it was in the clearance section at Target. Usually $32, I nabbed mine for $8. After a week, I ordered two more from Target.com (as a side note--Target.com SUCKS! I discourage you from using their website if at all possible, but that's a rant for another post) for $20 a piece. Clark does not like to be swaddled (remember how I told you I was planning for a hypothetical child), so the 4 swaddlers that I registered for will have to be put away for a hypothetical 2nd child. What I love about the sleeping bag is that he can have his arms out but his legs stay warm and I don't have to worry about loose blankets. Right now the "bag" is still big enough that I can wrap it up around him, but if he kicks out of it, I don't have to worry. Because it's made of muslin, it keeps him warm but not hot. I could go on, but I won't. Seriously, this is worth trying!

Long Sleeve Onesies

Having a May baby, I didn't think I'd need long sleeve onesies for my newborn, but alas, I was wrong. I sent my mom out to get a couple packs the day after we brought Clark home. Mostly he sleeps in these and his Aden + Anais sleeping bag. The combo keeps his entire body at the perfect temperature. They have the cuffs for his hands, but now he's such a big boy (at three weeks) that the cuffs make him mad. When he was a couple days old though, they helped protect his little face from those crazy sharp newborn nails.

Huggies Pure & Natural diapers

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you're questioning why disposable diapers are on my list since I was adamant that we were cloth diapering. Well, we are still going to cloth diaper, but since my little guy had a circumcision site that needed A & D ointment, and said ointment can ruin cloth diapers' absorbency, I decided to go with these organic cotton disposables to start out. I'm glad I did for a number of reasons. 1. Life with a newborn is more hectic than I realized (veteran moms, you may laugh here). 2. My baby is tiny (his pediatrician referred to him as "petite") and the prefolds I thought he could wear from birth still don't fit him. We'll probably keep him in a combo of Little Joeys and these until he's 10 lbs. I LOVE that they're made of organic cotton and they are hypoallergenic.

Safety 1st Pegasus Playard

I LOVE our pack & play. I did a lot of research before registering for one and we landed on this one for a few reasons. 1. The safety rating was incredibly high. 2. The changing table is much sturdier than others on the market. It's actually attached completely to the unit. 3. It completely matches our house! 4. The storage and hamper. I thought I would like these, but honestly--I can't imagine living without them! We have this set up in our living room, so I have everything I need (diapers, wipes, hand sanitizer, extra onsies, receiving blankets, etc.) easily at my disposal but things don't look cluttered. 

Moby Wrap

Now, to be honest, I don't have the real Moby wrap. I use one that I made. (If you have scissors, you can make a Moby. There are several tutorials out there; here's one. I actually might do my own tutorial for this in the next few weeks.) I use this thing daily often for hours at a time. Babywearing is one of the major aspects of attachment parenting, and I am SO grateful that Clark likes to be worn. I get so much done with him neatly tucked away in his wrap. I actually wore him for our first several outings too. As you can see from the picture, your little one is nicely snuggled up to you and mostly covered from prying eyes (and germy hands) when out in public. 

iPad/Apps

My amazing husband bought me a new iPad 3 for a push present/Mother's Day, and I cannot tell you how much I love it! When it comes to being a mom, there are two apps that I use multiple times a day. One is Baby Log which lets me record basically everything I could ever need to for Clark (diapers, feedings, baths, etc.). The other is a white noise app (I have Relax Melodies HD). I actually have a white noise app on my iPad AND phone. 30 seconds of "Heavy Rain" and my kid is OUT! When he's especially fussy on shopping trips or in the car, I'll use my phone and prop it in his car seat. Love it!

Fisher Price Whale of a Tub

There were several tubs I looked at before going with this one. I'm so grateful I got the one I did. That little removable bump is perfect for bathing a newborn. Clark sits perfectly in the tub with his legs draped over. There's also a stopper in the bottom of the tub for easy draining/refilling. It fits perfectly over our kitchen sink. 

Receiving Blankets

We got a TON of receiving blankets for our showers. So many that I checked with Becky to see how many I really needed. She suggested I hold on to all of them and return them if once he was here I felt I didn't need them. One of the many wonderful pieces of advice I got from my sister-in-law. We use recieving blankets for everything! I use them as a changing table cover, as burp cloths, to cover him in the car seat or swing, for swaddling, etc. The list goes on and on. I find myself folding at least four with each load of his laundry. 

Soothie Pacifiers

This is a recent love. Clark's actually only been using this for the past 48 hours or so, but wow, I'm in love. I wasn't planning on introducing a pacifier or a bottle until week 5 or 6, but things change. (I'll blog about our bottle situation later.) Mike was pretty against him ever having a pacifier. (I however would rather him grow attached to something I can take away instead of his thumb!) However, a couple of nights ago, when I could barely keep my head up while nursing, I told him I was going the next day for a pacifier. There's no way I can be my child's pacifier. After some research, I found that the Soothie usually works well with breastfed babies. Clark is still getting the hang of it, but last night after he was done nursing, I popped that sucker in his mouth and he slept in his bed (co-sleeper) until his next feeding. Mike and I are both hooked!

Hopefully one of these recommendations helps someone out. In any case, thanks for reading! :)

Clark's Birth Story

My mom has been right about a lot in my life, and I always hoped that she'd be right about women forgetting the pain of childbirth once they held their child. Fortunately, I was able put another tally mark in her accuracy column. 

This is the story of my son, Clark's birth. (Warning: If you're not a fan of obnoxious pregnancy details, this post is NOT for you. There will be several TMI moments.)

I was blessed to have an amazingly healthy pregnancy. From the very beginning everything was "perfect". My weight was good, my labs were good, the baby couldn't have been more perfect, my blood pressure was occasionally high, but being that I have "white coat syndrome" it was usually good at the end of my midwife's appointment. Because everything looked good and since both Mike's and my mom were two weeks late when they carried us, I was convinced that our son would be late.

Things were shook up a little on Monday, April 30. (Thank goodness I listened to the advice of my friends and mother to go on maternity leave a week earlier than planned!) My blood pressure was high (140/90) both times they took it. In addition, I had seen "stars" several times in the past week. My midwife ordered additional labs and put me on a mild blood pressure medication. I was ordered to do a 24 hour urine screen. While not a painful test, it was definitely a hassle to collect and refrigerate all of my pee for a full day. 

I alerted my doula, Louise, to the situation via email. She called me almost the instant I hit SEND. She talked me through the possibilities and mentioned that we should prepare ourselves for the possibility of induction. So I did-kind of. I thought maybe Tuesday, if things look a little sketchy. At that point I'd be 40 weeks-on my due date. We kept news of the high blood pressure quiet not telling friends and family for fear that we'd cause unnecessary worry.

I dutifully took in my jugs of sample urine on Wednesday morning and found out that somehow I was NOT pre-registered at the hospital, so I took care of that too. I spent the rest of Wednesday running last minute baby-prep errands. On Thursday morning, nesting grabbed a hold of me and I cleaned (most of) our house before going into my blood pressure check at my midwife's. Michael was at work so I went solo to the bp check. My blood pressure was better, good even. My midwife explained that all of my labs looked good, EXCEPT for the protein in my urine from the 24 hour screen. It was 3 times the allowed limit. At that point, she told me she wanted us to meet her at the hospital that evening to begin induction. The concern was as much for Clark as it was for me. If my condition turned into true preeclampsia, I could become toxic. In the worst case scenario my kidneys could shut down and they would have to take Clark via emergency C-section.  Despite Louise's advice to be prepared for an induction, I was still shocked that we would induce so soon. I thought maybe we'd wait the extra 4 days until my due date, but no, we would be meeting our son in the next day or so.

The plan was simple (as simple as child birth can be). Cheri, my midwife, would perform a procedure called an EZ. The procedure entails inserting a catheter into the cervix and inflating a ping pong size balloon. This balloon agitates the cervix so it dilates. Michael and I arrived at the hospital right at 6 pm and within a half hour Cheri was there to insert the EZ. Due to a variety of factors (one being my labial varicosity--I warned you about TMI), I passed out during the procedure. I remember waking to approximately eight nurses surrounding me. One was inserting an IV, another was putting an oxygen mask on me, still another was wiping my head with a cold cloth. However the voice of the one who called for an emergency C- section will probably forever remain in my memory. At that point, I sat up enough to tell Michael, who looked terrified standing behind all the nurses, to call Louise. Soon, Clark's heart rate, which had dropped to 60 when I passed out, was up and in the healthy 130s again. The C-section would not be necessary. Cheri let me rest for about an hour before talking to us about our next course of action.

Once everyone was confident that Clark and I were both stable, Cheri told us that she was not going to attempt the EZ again for fear of the same result. Instead, she wanted to use a drug called cytotec to induce labor. Ironically, I knew about cytotec because my dear friend Sarah (who gave birth just two weeks before me) was supposed to induced using the same drug. She ended up going into labor naturally, but we had talked at length about the drug. There were a number of reasons I was wary about using it to induce. Other than the fact that it is not approved for induction (it's actually an ulcer medication), I was concerned that it could not be regulated after it was administered (they put a 1/4 of a tablet directly on your cervix and allow it to be absorbed). Additionally, as a drug that is routinely used for abortions, there was a possibility of hemorrhaging and death to mother and child. I asked about our other options. The other option--and the one we went with--was a drug called cervidil. It too is manually inserted, but it is approved for induction, has few if any side effects, and is on a string so it could be removed if there were a problem. Cheri inserted the cervidil at 8 pm and said a nurse would pull it at 8 am. That night Michael and I watched the Sox game and some other random shows. We talked to our parents to update them about the induction and we both tried to get some rest.

The next day started easily enough. The nurse pulled the cervidil at 8 am. At 9 am she started the pitocin. Louise joined us around 10 am. I remember the nurse telling me that I was having contractions, but I truly didn't feel them. Michael's parents came up to see us since I really wasn't feeling contractions, I was able to entertain a bit. My mom and sister also came out. Mom had put together a basket of goodies for the nurses (not that they needed to be bribed to give me outstanding care, but as teachers, my mom and I know how much it means to feel appreciated). They also brought Michael and me Panera for lunch. Cheri came to check on me a bit before 3 pm and decided to break my water to get labor going.

Here's what I remember from that point on. The contractions I couldn't initially feel turned into uncomfortable contractions that I had to breathe through. I felt better on the birthing ball, but after a half hour or so, Louise had me up and moving. We walked the halls for about a half hour. Every ten feet or so I would have to stop, lean against Michael and breathe through a contraction. When we got back to the room, my nurse checked me. I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Around 4 pm I got into the tub. It was glorious! My contractions were so much more bearable in the water. After about a half hour, Louise said I needed to switch positions in the tub. I went to a position on my knees and I hated it. She told me I needed to do six contractions in that position. (I feel like this is a perfect example of what a doula is--she's essentially a personal trainer for childbirth.) Michael counted me through the six contractions. At the end of them, I threw up. From all of my research and our birthing classes I knew this was a good sign--I was in transition. 

The next two hours are pretty fuzzy. I remember getting out of the tub and into the bed. I remember my contractions being incredibly intense. For the first time all day, I had trouble breathing through them. When Cheri arrived, she checked my progress. My time in the tub was definitely productive; I was 9 cm dilated 100% effaced.  I labored for another hour or so. There were multiple times that I asked for drugs. Michael's way of handling my pleas for relief was to stare at me blankly. Louise simply said it was too late for drugs--I'd have to do this just as I had planned--on my own, without drugs.

I had been told that by the time I got through active labor and transition pushing would feel like a relief. While that was partly true, it was still painful. The biggest relief was that I was in control of the pain. I pushed instinctively. No one was coaching me on when to push. Instead, Louise and Cheri coached me on how to push. In retrospect, it's amazing that I remembered so much from birthing class. I would stop when I felt burning, gear up and push again. My midwife and doula redirected my energy from screams to pushing. When I was certain I couldn't continue, Cheri had me reach down and touch my baby's head--he was almost here--I could finish, I would finish.

Finally, at 7:18 pm on Friday, May 4, 2012, our son, Clark Wiley Samples entered the world. He came out screaming. Michael told me later that he must have heard me during labor and assumed that's how we communicated out here. :) He also promptly peed all over me and the bed. I didn't even care. I was immediately in love with his pink screaming face. Because there were no complications, we were able to let the cord pulse before Michael cut it, just as our birth plan outlined. I delivered the placenta without any problems and even watched as my midwife took time to explain to me all the parts of the amazing life-giving sack. 

Clark stopped screaming as soon as they put him on my chest and covered us with warm blankets. His dark eyes darted between Michael and me as he saw the faces that went with the voices he'd heard for so many months. Because I had not torn, I was quickly cleaned up. Louise suggested we quickly allow our parents and my sister back to see Clark. I held him so that people would be less likely to try to take him away from us. The five members of our family came back to see our newest addition. After brief congratulations, they left us to be a family of three. I was able to nurse Clark in the delivery room before he and Michael went to the nursery for his assessment. 


I was taken over to our postpartum room shortly after Michael and Clark left me. After I got settled in, I joined Michael in the nursery as they checked out our little guy. He was perfect. The next morning, I awoke early and showered while both boys were sleeping. I knew that I needed to be ready for visitors. Cheri came to see us not long after I made it back to bed. She gave us the option to leave that night or wait until the next morning. Michael had had enough of sleeping on the uncomfortable pull-out, and I was more than tired of nurses in and out of our room at night, so we decided that two nights in the hospital were enough and told Cheri we'd go home that evening. The next several hours were filled with visits from many of our closest friends and family. By 7:50 pm we were on our way home with our one day old son. 


It's taken me over two weeks to finish this post that I started the morning after he was born. I guess that's an indication of how our lives have changed in just a couple of short weeks. I don't think I've ever been this tired, but I can't recall being this happy either. 

37 weeks...

On August 31, the morning I took my first pregnancy test, it seemed impossible that we would ever be here. There were so many doubts and concerns surrounding pregnancy. Now, I've never had any true issues that would constitute concern about successfully caring a child, but I didn't want to take this miracle of life for granted. I didn't want to arrogantly presume that my body would do what it would was supposed to do. So, on that late summer morning, the reality that I would ever be ready to deliver a full term baby was unbelievable.


Yet, here we are, one day past 37 weeks (full term), twenty days away from our due date. Our baby could be born today and be healthy (that's not an invitation, Clark--there's a lot of brain developing for you to do in the next twenty days)! It's surreal that the child I'm carrying is a honest to goodness baby. He looks like him (minus a pound or so). He has hair and nails and good Lord willing, perfect little limbs and fingers and toes. I just can't believe that I get to be a part of the miracle that he is. 


The past nine months have been such a whirlwind and a blessing. I'm not sure that any length of time is enough to feel prepared to be a parent, but the last 37 weeks have gotten us closer to being ready. I know that when our little guy gets here there will be some scary moments of questioning what we got ourselves into, but I also know that we couldn't be more excited to officially start our family. Ready or not though, Clark is coming!

A Selfish Moment

If you've read this blog from the beginning of my pregnancy, you know that I've worked very hard to maintain perspective. It's important to me that above all else (my comfort, appearance, or preferences) Clark is healthy. Regardless, I think all women struggle with the how pregnancy wrecks havoc on their bodies. I knew that I would be no exception; I've struggled with my weight and body image for at least the last twenty or so years. When I got pregnant I weighed more than I wanted to, the comfort of marriage caught up to me, and I was already carrying 15 more pounds than I wanted. By medical standards I was considered overweight. According to my books, I was to gain 15-20 pounds during pregnancy. 

I did alright during my first trimester. I gained around 6 pounds. Shortly after, however, the holidays took their toll. At my appointment in January my midwife commented that I seemed to be a little high and that I should watch the sweets; I was just shy of my 20 pound mark. I followed her direction and although I still let myself have the Junior Mints and Tootsie Roll Pops that I craved, I did cut back. At my February appointment, I decided not to look at the scale. (The OBGYN's scale was always higher than mine anyway--no surprise, I usually had appointments at the end of the day.) So, for the past three months I haven't really had a clue about how much I weigh. My midwife referred to herself in one of our early appointments as a "weight Nazi", so I knew that if there was a problem she'd let me know. 

I've felt huge recently and it didn't seem wise to have my first reality check at the hospital while in labor, so this morning, I had to look. I needed to know what I was up against. Would I need to lose 60 pounds, 70 pounds, or oh, my goodness...80 pounds (remember I'm still counting that extra 15-20 that I was carrying when I got pregnant)? With trepidation, I pulled out my trusty scale, blew of the dust, and allowed it to go to zero before stepping on. While I won't tell you the number, I will tell you that I was pleasantly surprised when I realized I've "only" gained 30 pounds! If I gain the 1/2 pound a week that I'm supposed to for the next three weeks, I'll be up about 32 pounds. This, my friends, I can live with. This is doable, and this, makes me feel much less like a failure. I know is a selfish and vain moment--being concerned about losing weight before my son is born, but one of my biggest fears about life postpartum has been not feeling like me. It's nice to see a light at the end of the tunnel and know that I can once again feel comfortable in my own skin--even if it will take a lot of hard work to get there!

Shower "Back Home"

To say that I'm blessed to have been born into the Brennan/Leonard family is a gross understatement. As a child, I loved my mother's extended family, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I truly appreciated how rare the relationships I have with those amazing people are. I grew up with family holidays that included sometimes sixty people. I knew I was loved by not only my aunts, uncles and cousins, but also by great-aunts and uncles, second cousins and sometimes even more distant relatives. So, while I didn't grow up on or even near the family farm, whenever we made the journey back, I still said we were going "back home" because that's what it felt like. 


It was no surprise then that going "back home" for a baby shower will remain one of my greatest memories of pregnancy. My dear Great-Aunt Mary Ann (who is also my godmother) and my Great-Aunt Ruth hosted the most perfect shower for little Clark. While our numbers have dwindled over the years, I was still surrounded by the love and excitement of some of my favorite first, second, and third cousins as well as my aunts and great-aunts. It was a perfect day. Here are a few of the highlights.

Aunt Mary Ann, me & Aunt Ruth

Allison & Samantha were amazing present helpers

Even though Charlie & Jon couldn't be there, they made sure to send Clark (& Michael) some Dolphins love!

Kaitlyn, Aunt Mary & Janet 

How cute is she?!

Linda & Laura

The aunts with Patty

Clark got a TON of great books! Laura went through her collection and pulled out her favorites for him--how special and sweet!

A Shower for our Boy

We were incredibly blessed to actually have TWO showers for our Clark. (I'll have to post pictures from the family shower "back home" in McHenry later this week--they're still on my camera which is charging.) I have a tendency to go on and on in long-winded explanations when I blog. Fortunately for you, Becky took great pictures, so I'll mostly let them tell the story. I will say that the day was PERFECT! I couldn't have asked for a shower that was more "us"! Our moms and sisters truly outdid themselves, and I am left with some precious memories. We couldn't be more thankful.

Welcome table with escort cards and "guest blocks". 

"Guest blocks" for everyone to sign and one of my favorite pictures from our maternity shoot.

Aww...Mommy & Daddy escort cards--so sweet, Courtney!

Centerpieces (each table had a letter and a coordinating item) & games

C is for Clark--LOVE our ultrasound picture of the little man!

Beautiful cake by our "Cake Lady"--I swear we didn't realize that his initials would be CWS until AFTER we decided on his name. It's a nice tribute to our Chicago White Sox, though. 

Prize table--Nice job Jen & Laura!

Not sure what my hair was doing, but we're pretty excited to be Mommy & Daddy! 

With Mono--Michael's mom

With Grandma (we're still waiting on Finn to give her  a unique name)--My mom

From the left, Grandma Hoyle, Aunt Lillian, Grandma Samples, & Grandma Gladys (one of my godmothers)

Holy gift table! Our friends and family were so incredibly thoughtful and generous!  Somehow we were able to get (most) everything to fit in the house!

Jenn, me, & Becky--We've been friends for nearly FIFTEEN years, and once Clark is here, we'll have four kids between the three of us!

Sisters & Nieces!
Back row: Michael's sisters-Jen & Laura, our niece (Jen's daughter), Ashley, me & Michael
Front row: Our niece (Laura's daughter), Nicole, My sisters-Courtney & Becky 

Finn came to the shower so Uncle Mike didn't have to be the only boy. ;)
We can't WAIT for him and Clark to play together! We're hoping they become the best of friends!

There were plenty of gift shots, but there's no need to post them all. This onesie (from Jenn) was one of my favorites!

The Girls!
From left: Chrisanne & Tenley, Beth (Reagan was with her grandma), me, Becky & Finn
We're missing Rachel & Violet in this one (it's excusable seeing as how Violet was  less than two weeks old at the time!)

Leslie mad it in from Chicago for the shower--we were so thrilled she did!

I wish we had been able to get pictures with everyone who came, however, the memories made that day with everyone who showed their love and support will always be me. Clark, I pray that you never forget that even before you were here, you were so incredibly loved by so many!

Maternity Pictures & 1 month

I LOVE St. Patrick's Day! I always have. There are many reasons why I am proud to be a part of my grandmother's family, but one reason that I am particularly proud is due to the Irish heritage of the Brennan family. I grew up with my Aunt Georgia telling stories about kissing the Blarney Stone, going to funerals that were true celebrations of life, and falling in love with all things Irish. I bring this up for several reasons, 1) Saturday (St. Patrick's Day) was one of the ONLY days during my entire pregnancy I was seriously bummed that I couldn't drink (Clark--you're totally worth it, but Mommy wanted a beer), 2) I was excited that we took our maternity pictures on St. Paddy's Day because I'll ALWAYS remember it, and 3) Somehow it made the pictures of me in the rocking chair my Grandma Betty bought for my mother when she was pregnant with me all that more special.

Before I share those pictures, I'll give you some exciting news. I'm 33 weeks right now which means that in ONE MONTH Clark will be full term and if he came, it would be ok. One. Month. So terrifying. So exciting!

A special thanks to my wonderful best friend and sister-in-law, Becky Hoyle, for taking our maternity pictures. I'm posting my favorites (all of which came from our preview--Beck, you have such good taste!), so for those of you who are not on Facebook and have been demanding belly shots, you should be appeased. After you finish this post, click on over to Hoyle-Cunningham Photography or go like them on Facebook, because seriously, I have some amazingly talented friends/family!

This is the chair my Grandma Betty gave my mom when she was carrying me. It was super important to me to have it in the nursery. All I  did was paint it white to match Clark's room.

So artsy. So beautiful.

Bruce (left) and Bentley (right) know something is up, but I doubt they have any clue how much their lives our going to change in the next several weeks. (We kind of feel the same way!)

One of the only bare belly shots I actually LOVE!

Clark's room is almost done. The only things left to do are finish the prints that will be framed and hung on the walls and buy/assemble the bookshelf.

Love this.

One of my favorites. It's amazing how I look like I'm all belly--I swear I'm not!