My Next 30 Years...

I'm a country girl at heart. I love visiting the big city (especially now that my best friend, Leslie, has an amazing apartment in Chicago), but if I had to choose where Michael and I would ultimately raise our family, I'd choose the nearby corn fields in a heart beat. It's no surprise then, that with the end of my twenties looming in front of me, I've been listening to Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years" a lot recently. 

I remember when the song came out. I was in high school, and thirty seemed a lifetime away. The lyrics were sweet and sentimental, but they didn't really resonate with me. Now, however, many of the words sing the story of my life. Here are the highlights:

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age--Celebrate? I suppose it's worth celebrating that I've made it this far, and while I don't love the number, I'm grateful that I'm not 21 again...seriously.

The ending of an era and the turning of a page--Today I turned thirty. I sent my son to daycare for the first time (he didn't cry; I did), and I began a new career. If that's not the end of an era, I don't know what is. The upside is that the page has been turned and I'm off to write a new chapter.

Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here--If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I've been working on focus. Now seems as good a time as any to really master it. 

Lord have mercy on my next thirty years--Another truth is that God has definitely had mercy on my past thirty years. My marriage, son, friends, family, job, and countless other things are testament to that. I am blessed, plain and simple.

Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun--This is not the end of my fun. Ladies (specifically: Becky, Chrisanne, Beth, Rachel, Jenn--take notice!)

Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done--I don't feel that this is necessary. Those crazy things got me there. And truthfully, there are quite a few that I'm already a little hazy on the details. ;)


Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years--Not sure this has happened, but I plan on getting over them in the next thirty. 

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years--This needs to be my mantra. 

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late--Time to get that body back(ish) for real! 

Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years--I should also include "Keep my damn mouth shut and not say stupid shit while I'm drinking" to this.

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life--If this is true, life will be amazing because the past thirty have (overall) been awesome!


Raise a little family and hang out with my wife husband--Ok, this doesn't rhyme, but you get the point. At the end of the day, the time I have with my family is the most important. I look forward to someday seeing the family we will have, the child(ren) we will raise, and the life we will build. I can't imagine loving Michael and Clark more than I do today, and yet somehow, there's never a day that I loved them more the day before.


Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear--This next thirty will consist of genuine relationships. I pray that I remember these words and drink in the moments with the people who are most important to me. 

Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years--In true Betty fashion, I've got a plan and a checklist. It might not be filled with concrete items, but I'm pretty sure it's the greatest checklist I've ever written. 

Sharing the Sweet Life

Before I had Clark, I would dream of the children I would have. In these daydreams, my fictitious children listened to and honored my requests, shared my loves and dislikes, and were quintessential mini-me’s. Now that my son has been here for six weeks, however, those daydreams have changed. I still think would be wonderful if he loved books and the ocean. And, it would be just fine with me if he disliked cats too. His father would be elated if he grew to be loyal to the White Sox and loathe the Cubs, but what if he didn’t?

What if he would rather build things with his hands than sit and read a novel? Or what would it be like to spend our time in Florida touring the Everglades instead of sunning ourselves on the beach? Maybe one of the greatest pets of my life would have been overlooked if it weren’t for my son’s affinity for felines. And maybe, just maybe my husband would find something to like about the North side.

I guess what I’m getting at is that parenthood does change you. But for me, it’s been in ways I never imagined. When our little bundle of wonder entered our lives, I thought I would want him to be just like us, but surprisingly, that’s not what I found myself wanting. Instead, once he came into this world, all I wanted was for him to be himself. What I love sharing with him already is who he is. His personality is shining even now and I love the anticipation of all that he will become and the life we’ll have as he shares who he is with us. 

This post is also a guest post over at Reverie...go show my dear friend Sarah some love!

Clark's Birth Story

My mom has been right about a lot in my life, and I always hoped that she'd be right about women forgetting the pain of childbirth once they held their child. Fortunately, I was able put another tally mark in her accuracy column. 

This is the story of my son, Clark's birth. (Warning: If you're not a fan of obnoxious pregnancy details, this post is NOT for you. There will be several TMI moments.)

I was blessed to have an amazingly healthy pregnancy. From the very beginning everything was "perfect". My weight was good, my labs were good, the baby couldn't have been more perfect, my blood pressure was occasionally high, but being that I have "white coat syndrome" it was usually good at the end of my midwife's appointment. Because everything looked good and since both Mike's and my mom were two weeks late when they carried us, I was convinced that our son would be late.

Things were shook up a little on Monday, April 30. (Thank goodness I listened to the advice of my friends and mother to go on maternity leave a week earlier than planned!) My blood pressure was high (140/90) both times they took it. In addition, I had seen "stars" several times in the past week. My midwife ordered additional labs and put me on a mild blood pressure medication. I was ordered to do a 24 hour urine screen. While not a painful test, it was definitely a hassle to collect and refrigerate all of my pee for a full day. 

I alerted my doula, Louise, to the situation via email. She called me almost the instant I hit SEND. She talked me through the possibilities and mentioned that we should prepare ourselves for the possibility of induction. So I did-kind of. I thought maybe Tuesday, if things look a little sketchy. At that point I'd be 40 weeks-on my due date. We kept news of the high blood pressure quiet not telling friends and family for fear that we'd cause unnecessary worry.

I dutifully took in my jugs of sample urine on Wednesday morning and found out that somehow I was NOT pre-registered at the hospital, so I took care of that too. I spent the rest of Wednesday running last minute baby-prep errands. On Thursday morning, nesting grabbed a hold of me and I cleaned (most of) our house before going into my blood pressure check at my midwife's. Michael was at work so I went solo to the bp check. My blood pressure was better, good even. My midwife explained that all of my labs looked good, EXCEPT for the protein in my urine from the 24 hour screen. It was 3 times the allowed limit. At that point, she told me she wanted us to meet her at the hospital that evening to begin induction. The concern was as much for Clark as it was for me. If my condition turned into true preeclampsia, I could become toxic. In the worst case scenario my kidneys could shut down and they would have to take Clark via emergency C-section.  Despite Louise's advice to be prepared for an induction, I was still shocked that we would induce so soon. I thought maybe we'd wait the extra 4 days until my due date, but no, we would be meeting our son in the next day or so.

The plan was simple (as simple as child birth can be). Cheri, my midwife, would perform a procedure called an EZ. The procedure entails inserting a catheter into the cervix and inflating a ping pong size balloon. This balloon agitates the cervix so it dilates. Michael and I arrived at the hospital right at 6 pm and within a half hour Cheri was there to insert the EZ. Due to a variety of factors (one being my labial varicosity--I warned you about TMI), I passed out during the procedure. I remember waking to approximately eight nurses surrounding me. One was inserting an IV, another was putting an oxygen mask on me, still another was wiping my head with a cold cloth. However the voice of the one who called for an emergency C- section will probably forever remain in my memory. At that point, I sat up enough to tell Michael, who looked terrified standing behind all the nurses, to call Louise. Soon, Clark's heart rate, which had dropped to 60 when I passed out, was up and in the healthy 130s again. The C-section would not be necessary. Cheri let me rest for about an hour before talking to us about our next course of action.

Once everyone was confident that Clark and I were both stable, Cheri told us that she was not going to attempt the EZ again for fear of the same result. Instead, she wanted to use a drug called cytotec to induce labor. Ironically, I knew about cytotec because my dear friend Sarah (who gave birth just two weeks before me) was supposed to induced using the same drug. She ended up going into labor naturally, but we had talked at length about the drug. There were a number of reasons I was wary about using it to induce. Other than the fact that it is not approved for induction (it's actually an ulcer medication), I was concerned that it could not be regulated after it was administered (they put a 1/4 of a tablet directly on your cervix and allow it to be absorbed). Additionally, as a drug that is routinely used for abortions, there was a possibility of hemorrhaging and death to mother and child. I asked about our other options. The other option--and the one we went with--was a drug called cervidil. It too is manually inserted, but it is approved for induction, has few if any side effects, and is on a string so it could be removed if there were a problem. Cheri inserted the cervidil at 8 pm and said a nurse would pull it at 8 am. That night Michael and I watched the Sox game and some other random shows. We talked to our parents to update them about the induction and we both tried to get some rest.

The next day started easily enough. The nurse pulled the cervidil at 8 am. At 9 am she started the pitocin. Louise joined us around 10 am. I remember the nurse telling me that I was having contractions, but I truly didn't feel them. Michael's parents came up to see us since I really wasn't feeling contractions, I was able to entertain a bit. My mom and sister also came out. Mom had put together a basket of goodies for the nurses (not that they needed to be bribed to give me outstanding care, but as teachers, my mom and I know how much it means to feel appreciated). They also brought Michael and me Panera for lunch. Cheri came to check on me a bit before 3 pm and decided to break my water to get labor going.

Here's what I remember from that point on. The contractions I couldn't initially feel turned into uncomfortable contractions that I had to breathe through. I felt better on the birthing ball, but after a half hour or so, Louise had me up and moving. We walked the halls for about a half hour. Every ten feet or so I would have to stop, lean against Michael and breathe through a contraction. When we got back to the room, my nurse checked me. I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Around 4 pm I got into the tub. It was glorious! My contractions were so much more bearable in the water. After about a half hour, Louise said I needed to switch positions in the tub. I went to a position on my knees and I hated it. She told me I needed to do six contractions in that position. (I feel like this is a perfect example of what a doula is--she's essentially a personal trainer for childbirth.) Michael counted me through the six contractions. At the end of them, I threw up. From all of my research and our birthing classes I knew this was a good sign--I was in transition. 

The next two hours are pretty fuzzy. I remember getting out of the tub and into the bed. I remember my contractions being incredibly intense. For the first time all day, I had trouble breathing through them. When Cheri arrived, she checked my progress. My time in the tub was definitely productive; I was 9 cm dilated 100% effaced.  I labored for another hour or so. There were multiple times that I asked for drugs. Michael's way of handling my pleas for relief was to stare at me blankly. Louise simply said it was too late for drugs--I'd have to do this just as I had planned--on my own, without drugs.

I had been told that by the time I got through active labor and transition pushing would feel like a relief. While that was partly true, it was still painful. The biggest relief was that I was in control of the pain. I pushed instinctively. No one was coaching me on when to push. Instead, Louise and Cheri coached me on how to push. In retrospect, it's amazing that I remembered so much from birthing class. I would stop when I felt burning, gear up and push again. My midwife and doula redirected my energy from screams to pushing. When I was certain I couldn't continue, Cheri had me reach down and touch my baby's head--he was almost here--I could finish, I would finish.

Finally, at 7:18 pm on Friday, May 4, 2012, our son, Clark Wiley Samples entered the world. He came out screaming. Michael told me later that he must have heard me during labor and assumed that's how we communicated out here. :) He also promptly peed all over me and the bed. I didn't even care. I was immediately in love with his pink screaming face. Because there were no complications, we were able to let the cord pulse before Michael cut it, just as our birth plan outlined. I delivered the placenta without any problems and even watched as my midwife took time to explain to me all the parts of the amazing life-giving sack. 

Clark stopped screaming as soon as they put him on my chest and covered us with warm blankets. His dark eyes darted between Michael and me as he saw the faces that went with the voices he'd heard for so many months. Because I had not torn, I was quickly cleaned up. Louise suggested we quickly allow our parents and my sister back to see Clark. I held him so that people would be less likely to try to take him away from us. The five members of our family came back to see our newest addition. After brief congratulations, they left us to be a family of three. I was able to nurse Clark in the delivery room before he and Michael went to the nursery for his assessment. 


I was taken over to our postpartum room shortly after Michael and Clark left me. After I got settled in, I joined Michael in the nursery as they checked out our little guy. He was perfect. The next morning, I awoke early and showered while both boys were sleeping. I knew that I needed to be ready for visitors. Cheri came to see us not long after I made it back to bed. She gave us the option to leave that night or wait until the next morning. Michael had had enough of sleeping on the uncomfortable pull-out, and I was more than tired of nurses in and out of our room at night, so we decided that two nights in the hospital were enough and told Cheri we'd go home that evening. The next several hours were filled with visits from many of our closest friends and family. By 7:50 pm we were on our way home with our one day old son. 


It's taken me over two weeks to finish this post that I started the morning after he was born. I guess that's an indication of how our lives have changed in just a couple of short weeks. I don't think I've ever been this tired, but I can't recall being this happy either. 

Shower "Back Home"

To say that I'm blessed to have been born into the Brennan/Leonard family is a gross understatement. As a child, I loved my mother's extended family, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I truly appreciated how rare the relationships I have with those amazing people are. I grew up with family holidays that included sometimes sixty people. I knew I was loved by not only my aunts, uncles and cousins, but also by great-aunts and uncles, second cousins and sometimes even more distant relatives. So, while I didn't grow up on or even near the family farm, whenever we made the journey back, I still said we were going "back home" because that's what it felt like. 


It was no surprise then that going "back home" for a baby shower will remain one of my greatest memories of pregnancy. My dear Great-Aunt Mary Ann (who is also my godmother) and my Great-Aunt Ruth hosted the most perfect shower for little Clark. While our numbers have dwindled over the years, I was still surrounded by the love and excitement of some of my favorite first, second, and third cousins as well as my aunts and great-aunts. It was a perfect day. Here are a few of the highlights.

Aunt Mary Ann, me & Aunt Ruth

Allison & Samantha were amazing present helpers

Even though Charlie & Jon couldn't be there, they made sure to send Clark (& Michael) some Dolphins love!

Kaitlyn, Aunt Mary & Janet 

How cute is she?!

Linda & Laura

The aunts with Patty

Clark got a TON of great books! Laura went through her collection and pulled out her favorites for him--how special and sweet!

A Shower for our Boy

We were incredibly blessed to actually have TWO showers for our Clark. (I'll have to post pictures from the family shower "back home" in McHenry later this week--they're still on my camera which is charging.) I have a tendency to go on and on in long-winded explanations when I blog. Fortunately for you, Becky took great pictures, so I'll mostly let them tell the story. I will say that the day was PERFECT! I couldn't have asked for a shower that was more "us"! Our moms and sisters truly outdid themselves, and I am left with some precious memories. We couldn't be more thankful.

Welcome table with escort cards and "guest blocks". 

"Guest blocks" for everyone to sign and one of my favorite pictures from our maternity shoot.

Aww...Mommy & Daddy escort cards--so sweet, Courtney!

Centerpieces (each table had a letter and a coordinating item) & games

C is for Clark--LOVE our ultrasound picture of the little man!

Beautiful cake by our "Cake Lady"--I swear we didn't realize that his initials would be CWS until AFTER we decided on his name. It's a nice tribute to our Chicago White Sox, though. 

Prize table--Nice job Jen & Laura!

Not sure what my hair was doing, but we're pretty excited to be Mommy & Daddy! 

With Mono--Michael's mom

With Grandma (we're still waiting on Finn to give her  a unique name)--My mom

From the left, Grandma Hoyle, Aunt Lillian, Grandma Samples, & Grandma Gladys (one of my godmothers)

Holy gift table! Our friends and family were so incredibly thoughtful and generous!  Somehow we were able to get (most) everything to fit in the house!

Jenn, me, & Becky--We've been friends for nearly FIFTEEN years, and once Clark is here, we'll have four kids between the three of us!

Sisters & Nieces!
Back row: Michael's sisters-Jen & Laura, our niece (Jen's daughter), Ashley, me & Michael
Front row: Our niece (Laura's daughter), Nicole, My sisters-Courtney & Becky 

Finn came to the shower so Uncle Mike didn't have to be the only boy. ;)
We can't WAIT for him and Clark to play together! We're hoping they become the best of friends!

There were plenty of gift shots, but there's no need to post them all. This onesie (from Jenn) was one of my favorites!

The Girls!
From left: Chrisanne & Tenley, Beth (Reagan was with her grandma), me, Becky & Finn
We're missing Rachel & Violet in this one (it's excusable seeing as how Violet was  less than two weeks old at the time!)

Leslie mad it in from Chicago for the shower--we were so thrilled she did!

I wish we had been able to get pictures with everyone who came, however, the memories made that day with everyone who showed their love and support will always be me. Clark, I pray that you never forget that even before you were here, you were so incredibly loved by so many!

31.

Now seems as good a time as any to reflect on the past several months and look forward to the future. It's amazing to me that time has gone by so quickly. I was warned that it would. I anticipated it doing so, yet somehow, I was caught off guard when I realized that a week from from Thursday I'll be two months away from my due guess date.

While I'm practically giddy to meet our little boy, when I think back on the past 30 weeks, part of me is sad that this time is going to be over so soon. I've really loved being pregnant (even if it has meant giving up cold turkey sandwiches *sniff, sniff* and coffee *sob, sob*)! In fact, the other week week I was talking to my best friend Chrisanne and telling her that while I can't WAIT to see Clark on the outside of my growing tummy, part of me will miss having him there and knowing that he's with me and safe. She guaranteed me that while she felt similarly with her little girl, Tenley, they're much more fun to play with on the outside. :)

I'm also grateful that I've had such a complication-free pregnancy. Each check-up has been "perfect." Even my weight (which I was nervous about) is on track according to my midwife. I don't want to be arrogant or fool-hardy and assume that all will go "perfectly" during our delivery, but the fact that I haven't had problems thus far makes me a little more optimistic.

What has not changed is how busy I am during the spring. I'm irritated with myself that I haven't blogged in a MONTH! Slightly more irritated that this post is coming a week after I planned for it to (it was originally titled "The Big 3-0!"--now, however, "The Big 3-1!" doesn't have the same ring to it). Last week I finished teaching my first of three test prep classes. Last night started #3 and after Thursday I'll be half way finished with #2. Between regular work, teaching test prep 1-2 nights a week and all the weddings we're finishing for Signature, Ink., I'm definitely keeping busy while waiting for our little one's arrival.

I'll post a belly picture soon. I just need to find time when I'm at home to move it from my camera to computer.

Busy.

With the way life has been recently, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. I have had to get real with myself about the fact that currently, I am NOT being paid to blog, thus the things I AM being paid for (or should be getting paid for--here's hoping Signature, Ink. actually MAKES money this year!) need to take priority. That being said, I'm happy-ish that I can be blogging once a week. 


I can't think back on a time in my life that I wasn't busy with something, and this pregnancy is proving to be the just more of the same. Between school (ugh. school--hopefully this will be one of my last years teaching), working to start a business, and my side gig teaching SAT & ACT prep courses at night I'm happy when I can squeeze in a little TV time with the hubs or dinner with a good friend. Presently, I'm grateful to steal a few quiet morning moments in between Signature, Ink. invoicing/bookkeeping and getting ready for my nephew Finn's 1st birthday party to blog a bit--for me.


Being busy like this has me looking forward to the weeks after Clark is born. While I'm 100% aware (although I'm sure not truly prepared) for six plus weeks of pure exhaustion, part of me is truly looking forward to the opportunity to be busy with one thing--my new family. School will be handled by a substitute. At least four of the six weddings we are currently working on will be in production or done. SAT & ACT classes will be finished. And I will be ridiculously tired and completely in love with the new man in my life. I'm praying that those weeks will not only be an amazingly precious time for me to cherish, but also a time for Michael and me to make some discoveries and decisions about what can/must change in lives in order to put this new family of ours at the top of our priority list.


In the meantime, I'm handling this busy time as best I can, praying for the strength and wisdom to move toward motherhood, and thankful for the people in my life who understand why I am often MIA.

21 Weeks & a Post-Christmas Update

Oh, my! I can't believe it's been 12 days since my last post. So much has happened in the past few weeks. I'll try to avoid my long-winded ramblings and give a quick, bulleted update! 


Diaper bag: Thanks to my dear friend, Chrisanne, and her lovely daughter, Tenley, for going with me to retrieve my coveted Timi & Leslie bag! I got quite the deal on my trendy yet functional accessory. While Charlie retails at $160, I was able to score the designer bag for a mere $94! I did end up getting in the mustard color, and after seeing the black and light brown colors in person at another store, I'm happy I did!


Cleaning: As usual with breaks, I think I'm going to accomplish much more than I do. With our crazy holiday schedule, the new cleaning routine hasn't completely come to fruition. I'm not abandoning the plan though! I should have a better update for you after I get back to school. (Ugh. School.)


Christmas: It was a wonderfully odd Christmas for the Hoyle/Samples clan. There were many changes instituted this year, and on top of it all, there was no snow. All of that added up to wonderful time with family (especially because my nephew, Finn, celebrated his first Christmas), but when it was all over, I was left feeling like Christmas had yet to arrive. I'm hopeful that next year the excitement of Clark's first Christmas will bring the magic back.


Clark: Perhaps the most exciting news is that I reached the halfway point in my pregnancy. It's odd because there are days that I still feel newly pregnant and others seem like I've been pregnant forever! Either way, I'm so grateful that everything is progressing just as it is supposed to. At our last midwife appointment a few weeks ago I was measuring right at 18 weeks, had perfect weight, and other stats. Thank you, Lord! 


In other baby news, I was delightfully surprised the morning after Christmas when Clark kicked me for the first time! I've felt him moving for several weeks now but no real kicks. It was the best present I got all year! With that said, here's a belly shot for you. (I've got to say that I'm getting to that "I feel super gross" portion of my pregnancy, so I'm not sure how many of these shots will be posted from here on out.) Oh, I almost forgot! We put the crib together yesterday, so you get to see that too!

A name for our boy.

I'm quickly learning that parents have the best of intentions. Sometimes these remain just that, intentions. For example, after announcing to our families the fact that we were expecting, I continued, almost in the same breath, to say "We'll announce the name when the baby gets here." My mother-in-law's response, "You're not going to choose something weird, are you?" In fact, that was the reason I wanted to wait. I knew that it was possible that our name would be viewed as "weird".  And truthfully, I didn't want to deal with it. Also, I had gone into naming situations before being sure and then changed my mind. (Before I adopted Bentley, I was dead set on the name Toby. Even when he came with that as his name I changed it; he never looked like a Toby to me.) What if we announced a name and the baby didn't look like the name?

As we got closer to the gender determination ultrasound, things began to change. We whittled our list down to four names, two for a boy and two for a girl. A week before we went for the ultrasound we had a serious talk about the names. For a boy, there was a clear choice. In fact, I told Michael, "If it's a boy, I can't imagine naming him anything other than ___." He agreed. I felt a tad guilty because there was no definitive choice for a girl, but I decided we would cross that bridge if we got to it. On December 2, 2011 we got the amazing news that our child would be our son. And even better we knew his name!

When we called our families with the news, we also confirmed his name (we had told only family the four possiblities earlier in the week--remember how I said I had the best of intentions?). I thought family would be the only ones to know until the little guy's arrival, but one day after work last week, Michael changed that too. "I told so-and-so at work the name." I was more surprised than mad. I thought we were keeping things under wraps, but apparently not. So, with that said, I didn't want So-and-so to know and not those of you who have been a part of my life/our lives for so long. Thus this post.

Our son's name is...**Drumroll **

Clark Wiley


Michael and I had a hard time agreeing on names. When it came to Clark though, there was no contest; we loved  it! It didn't hurt that it was Superman's alter-ego's name! You know how we love Clark Kent! In fact, although Michael doesn't want our son to be named "after" the mild-mannered reporter, I'm just fine saying that the Kansas farm boy is his name sake. How could a parent wish for a better example? Clark Kent was honest, respectful, polite, noble, humble, wise, intelligent, and kind. He put others before himself and worked tirelessly to make the world a better place. Regardless of whether or not he's named after America's superhero or just because we think Clark is a strong, solid name, I'm confident he'll grow to embody those traits and make us proud of him.


Wiley is much more straightforward. Michael's maternal grandfather's name was Wiley. Michael never got to meet Grandpa Wiley, but he grew up hearing stores about how much they looked like one another and how similar their personalities are. It's nice to think that Grandpa Wiley Berry's legacy of quiet strength and integrity can continue with our son.

Antsy & Conflicted

For a variety of reasons, Michael and I have been tossing around the idea of picking up and moving--truly moving, like out of state--for a little over a year now. We've lived in the Midwest our entire lives, but recently, things in this part of the country are looking a little grim. At least forty-eight weeks out of the year I understand why our region often referred to as "the armpit of America". There's little I love about this area. In fact, since I know you love countdowns, I'll give you the...


Top 5 Reasons Michael & I Stay in NWI
5. The seasons- There have been times I've tried to talk Michael into moving out west and settling down in Phoenix. Some of my family is there, and I adore the dry heat and mountains. However, one of the reasons we stay put is because we both love the changing of the seasons. I can't imagine life without new flowers, falling leaves, and SNOW!


4. Chicago- One of the things I love most about where we live is being so close to Chicago. As a kid we could be in Chicago faster than we could be to the local Wal-Mart. The proximity to the city caused me to fall in love with the Windy City at a very young age. What would life be like if we didn't get to make our annual trip to the Walnut Room or venture out with our Lo to Sox and Bulls games?


3. Our jobs- There's little to say about this. Neither of us are in our "dream" job, but for the time being, they're secure and stable. The prospect of the unknown is a tad terrifying.


2. Our friends- We love our friends here. While I know that Michael and I would find friends wherever we went, there would be a hole if we didn't get to see these NWI people.


1. Our family- This one is the clincher. I think we could manage to uproot ourselves if not for our families. We're both so blessed to have amazing families! With our Lo on the way, having everyone nearby is going to be such a blessing. Between family parties, impromptu dinners, and attending our nieces' and nephews' many school and sporting events, life would feel a tad empty if we didn't have them.


What's the point of the post? this countdown? Well, our list is slowly being dismantled.


5. The seasons-There was no real spring this year. We went from winter to summer sometime in early June. It's December 12 and we've had hardly any snow! It's supposed to be 50 degrees on Thursday. So much for seasons.


4. Chicago- We love you, but truthfully, Chi-town, we could visit, right? Plus, now that we're an hour plus away, we don't make it downtown very often anyway.


3. Our jobs- We're both ready to be done and honestly, the prospect of an adventure is kind of nice right now.


2. Our friends- As we have all moved to different parts of the area, it's harder to see everyone on a regular basis. We love them, but also know that because they love us, they'd want us to search out new opportunities if that's what we felt called to.


1. Our family- This is our true hang-up. Mine in particular. I grew up far away from my mother's family. My dad's family has never been especially close, and to make matters worse, my brother, sister and I were the only kids on that side anyway. Now that Lo has a cousin so close to his age and the same gender in Finn, the idea of taking him away from that breaks my heart. I also know that leaving would kill both sets of our parents and probably our siblings. 


So that's where we're at. Antsy and conflicted. Tired of this place, but not sure if it's time to move on. Regardless, there are a lot of decisions to be made in the next year or so. In the mean time, I'll be doing a lot of praying for guidance and courage. If you do that sort of thing, feel free to send some prayers our way. We'd love some clarity.

Waiting, guessing, and finding out.

Before we were even considering starting a family Michael and I knew that we would want to find out the gender of our child before he or she arrived. We're planners by nature, and the prospect of 40+ weeks not knowing if the new addition would be a boy or a girl was too much for either of us to handle.

Since we found out we were expecting, I've had this "boy" feeling. I second guessed it several times, mostly because I questioned the validity of mother's intuition. Could I really know before I knew? 

For fun (and at the prompting of my sisters) I checked out The Bump's Chinese Gender Chart. The ancient tradition told us our Lo would be a...BOY!

Out of pure curiosity and excitement, I bought an IntelliGender test on October 23. The gist of the test is that the first day's urine mixed with the crystal concoction indicates the gender of your child. It's supposed to be 80% accurate. The "scientific" test told us our Lo would be a...BOY!

 

It was hard to put much stock in either of these tests (even if they did agree), so we scheduled our gender determination ultrasound at a lovely place called The Belly Factory. (Thanks for the recommendation, Chrisanne, they were as wonderful as you said they were!) The tried and true ultrasound said our Lo would be a...BOY!

Three out of three isn't bad! While we would have been ecstatic to have a little girl, there's a part of me that feels so good knowing that I knew our Lo was a boy. It restores my faith in this mother's intuition I'm supposed to have (while also making me feel better that many of the "gender neutral" clothes/diapers we have right now are really more boy than I wanted to admit at the time). To say that we're thrilled to welcome this sweet little boy into our lives is the greatest understatement of all time! Get ready world, another Samples man is on his way!

A spirit of thankfulness...

I thought I would do way more posting about the day to day, week to week life of being pregnant, but I can only blog so many times about being exhausted or feeling queasy before I'm certain I would lose the small readership I have. Also, I never want the reporting of my symptoms to come across as whiny. The last thing I want to do is complain (to anyone other than Mike) about this pregnancy because I am so thankful for it.

The season I am currently at in my life brings with it many babies and friends who have or are having babies. I've had friends who complained through their entire pregnancies and others who, despite their opptomistic attitude lost babies. What I have learned from both extremes is that during this time in my life, in my child's life, all I can do is live with a spirit of thankfulness.

I'm thankful that a million things went right to result in this pregnancy. And although there are times that I'm sick, tired and uncomfortable, I'm always thankful that there are now two hearts beating fiercely inside me. While there have been a handful of times that a beer (or two) would have hit the spot, I've never, not once, wished I was not longer pregnant just so I could have the occasional cocktail. Pregnancy has brought about a new gratitude in me that I never realized I was living without. 


It makes sense then that this Thanksgiving was especially important to me. In fact, I wonder if I truly understood and appreciated Thanksgiving for the first time ever this year. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day frustrations of work, relationship drama, and unavoidable mishaps that we forget all we have to be thankful for. I for one am grateful that this child is already helping me to slow down and appreciate this life that God has given me...given us. I can't wait to see what other lessons Lo will teach me once he/she is here!

Room to breathe.

Recently, life has felt a little...tight. Between managing the most intense workload I've ever had as a teacher, navigating the new waters of pregnancy, trying to maintain relationships, and feeling guilty when I suck at any of the previous endeavors, my day to day has become rather restricting. This weekend, however, Michael and I went away for the weekend with three of our favorite people and got to breathe. It was glorious! 


Friday evening Randy, Becky, Finn, Michael and I headed for a couple of days in South Haven, Michigan. It turned into a weekend full of food, shopping, laughing, drinking (for the boys), and wonderful memories. We're hoping that this will turn into an annual trip. If so, next year our Lo will join us. And if we plan it far enough in advance, maybe Courtney will be able to come too!


Even though I took my camera and our Flip, I took no pictures, thus, you're seeing the weekend through Becky's eyes (some of the best eyes to look at anything). 

Our view from the balcony.

The boys on the way to the lighthouse.

Uncle Mike & Aunt Betty love you, Finn!

Becky, Finn, & Randy--Perfect family picture!

"Vroooom!" Finn loves his cars.

The other boys loved their "pimp chalices". 

Checking out the iPad and the fun Crayola coloring app.

Little Lo Nursery--The Transformation

One of the (few) perks of being a teacher is having a Fall Break. I was approaching this break with much anticipation for many reasons. 1. Grades were due on Wednesday which meant that I could spend the weekend not grading, but more importantly, not feeling guilty about not grading, 2. Our second midwife appointment was scheduled for Thursday, and 3. Michael's parents were going to help us transform our guest room into Lo's nursery! 


I knew that I wanted to have this nursery painted and ready to decorate before the truly cold weather came (which in Northwest Indiana could be anytime between mid-September and Thanksgiving--I have vivid memories of Trick-or-Treating in wet, flying snow as a sixth grade hippie.), so we scheduled our project almost as soon as we found out I was pregnant. 


On my first trip to Buy Buy Baby with Randy, Becky, and Finn, I found the bedding I wanted for Lo. Since I take after my father and have the innate ability to gravitate to the most expensive item in a store (Lo, I pray that you have good taste, but I'd be fine if you didn't inherit this attribute), I decided on a pattern I could see working for a boy or girl from Dwell Studio. Michael loved it too, so it was decided. (Although my taste is often expensive, I'm rather thrifty, so we're not buying the nearly $400 crib set, but instead buying a couple of the fitted sheets in the print and possible the shower curtain so that I can make it into curtains. We wouldn't use the bumper or blanket anyway, and if I need a crib skirt once the crib is here, I'll make or buy one.)

We decided to go bright (a true change in our house since nearly all the rooms in our house are varying shades of brown or tan), fresh and clean. I've always loved the split wall look that's achieved with chair rails and/or wainscoting, so that's the direction we went. The rest of this story can be told in pictures. Here you go!

Michael's mom (Mono) ready to get started!

Chalk line up, ready to paint!

Michael pouring our apple green paint! 

This may be the second time Michael's ever painted. He already loves this baby so much! :)

Now for the white!

Almost done!

Michael & his dad (Poppy) finishing up the chair rail.

The finished room!

A room for our Lo!