Weigh In Wednesday: Off to a GOOD Start!

I wish I was the quippy individual who created Weigh In Wednesday--I am not. BUT I will use it here because of aforementioned quip.

One week in on Weight Watchers (No, I'm not paying for it this time. Yes, I once again love my iPhone and its free apps.) and I'm down 2.2 pounds. I'll take it. After all, it's slow but steady right? And, I have a track record of being really good at failing when it comes to weight loss.

I was word vomiting talking to my dear friend Sarah this morning about my most recent weight loss commitment (really only because she saw my current desktop background which says, "The voice that says you can't do it is a lying slut"--except she only saw the "lying slut" part and need explanation) and basically put it this way: I need to grow up. I'm freaking THIRTY YEARS OLD. *sigh & WTF* I've never been a person who can eat whatever the hell I want without consequence, so why any part of me thinks that this awesome metabolism would kick in now is beyond me.

I had started a different blog to document my weight loss, but really, "ain't nobody got time fo dat!", so, you guys are getting it here. It's probably better for me anyway. If I know that all six of you are reading this it might  be the same as going to meetings. (All I could think right then was, "Hi. My name is Betty, and I'm a fatty."--new blog title?)

Maybe someday I'll publicly disclose my start weight, but that day is not today. For now, you may know that I'm down 2.2 leaving me 32.8 lbs away from my goal weight (47.8 lbs away from my DREAM weight).

Well, hello there!

Remember when I used to blog? I'm sure those of you who are a part of my small readership have been happy to have a break from absolutely lost without my random nonsense. I'm hoping you'll graciously accept me back into your reading routines as I'm hoping to be better about blogging at least a couple times a week (as opposed to once every six months).

I have a lot of work to do today while CW is at daycare, but I did want to post a little something. (I think one of the reasons I don't blog more is because I think of each post as an essay--when it's easier and shorter, more like a status update, it's more likely to happen.) For those of you who are close to me (that would be about half of you!), you know that I've been having serious body image issues.  What I've realized through dealing with these feelings of inadequacy is that I need to focus and be committed to being healthier. It's not just about me anymore. CW needs parents who are modeling a healthy lifestyle. So, today is...

NO EXCUSES TUESDAY!

I've been wanting to start running again. A few years ago I was logging 5 miles daily (I think back now and realize that if I had been eating better too, I may have actually reached my goal weight!), and I've missed the runner's high I get and how good I feel. The problem for the past few months is that I've been doing a lot of wanting but not much running. I've rationalized it by whining about not having access to a treadmill in the stupid cold of Chicagoland. This morning though, after I dropped the boy at daycare, I came home, laced up and got my booty out on the road. 

The Chicago Color Run is June 16, and I want to be ready! So, this is my reentry into the blogosphere. Maybe it will be a little bit of accountability? Here's hoping. 

My Next 30 Years...

I'm a country girl at heart. I love visiting the big city (especially now that my best friend, Leslie, has an amazing apartment in Chicago), but if I had to choose where Michael and I would ultimately raise our family, I'd choose the nearby corn fields in a heart beat. It's no surprise then, that with the end of my twenties looming in front of me, I've been listening to Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years" a lot recently. 

I remember when the song came out. I was in high school, and thirty seemed a lifetime away. The lyrics were sweet and sentimental, but they didn't really resonate with me. Now, however, many of the words sing the story of my life. Here are the highlights:

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age--Celebrate? I suppose it's worth celebrating that I've made it this far, and while I don't love the number, I'm grateful that I'm not 21 again...seriously.

The ending of an era and the turning of a page--Today I turned thirty. I sent my son to daycare for the first time (he didn't cry; I did), and I began a new career. If that's not the end of an era, I don't know what is. The upside is that the page has been turned and I'm off to write a new chapter.

Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here--If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I've been working on focus. Now seems as good a time as any to really master it. 

Lord have mercy on my next thirty years--Another truth is that God has definitely had mercy on my past thirty years. My marriage, son, friends, family, job, and countless other things are testament to that. I am blessed, plain and simple.

Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun--This is not the end of my fun. Ladies (specifically: Becky, Chrisanne, Beth, Rachel, Jenn--take notice!)

Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done--I don't feel that this is necessary. Those crazy things got me there. And truthfully, there are quite a few that I'm already a little hazy on the details. ;)


Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years--Not sure this has happened, but I plan on getting over them in the next thirty. 

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years--This needs to be my mantra. 

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late--Time to get that body back(ish) for real! 

Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years--I should also include "Keep my damn mouth shut and not say stupid shit while I'm drinking" to this.

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life--If this is true, life will be amazing because the past thirty have (overall) been awesome!


Raise a little family and hang out with my wife husband--Ok, this doesn't rhyme, but you get the point. At the end of the day, the time I have with my family is the most important. I look forward to someday seeing the family we will have, the child(ren) we will raise, and the life we will build. I can't imagine loving Michael and Clark more than I do today, and yet somehow, there's never a day that I loved them more the day before.


Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear--This next thirty will consist of genuine relationships. I pray that I remember these words and drink in the moments with the people who are most important to me. 

Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years--In true Betty fashion, I've got a plan and a checklist. It might not be filled with concrete items, but I'm pretty sure it's the greatest checklist I've ever written. 

Busy.

With the way life has been recently, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. I have had to get real with myself about the fact that currently, I am NOT being paid to blog, thus the things I AM being paid for (or should be getting paid for--here's hoping Signature, Ink. actually MAKES money this year!) need to take priority. That being said, I'm happy-ish that I can be blogging once a week. 


I can't think back on a time in my life that I wasn't busy with something, and this pregnancy is proving to be the just more of the same. Between school (ugh. school--hopefully this will be one of my last years teaching), working to start a business, and my side gig teaching SAT & ACT prep courses at night I'm happy when I can squeeze in a little TV time with the hubs or dinner with a good friend. Presently, I'm grateful to steal a few quiet morning moments in between Signature, Ink. invoicing/bookkeeping and getting ready for my nephew Finn's 1st birthday party to blog a bit--for me.


Being busy like this has me looking forward to the weeks after Clark is born. While I'm 100% aware (although I'm sure not truly prepared) for six plus weeks of pure exhaustion, part of me is truly looking forward to the opportunity to be busy with one thing--my new family. School will be handled by a substitute. At least four of the six weddings we are currently working on will be in production or done. SAT & ACT classes will be finished. And I will be ridiculously tired and completely in love with the new man in my life. I'm praying that those weeks will not only be an amazingly precious time for me to cherish, but also a time for Michael and me to make some discoveries and decisions about what can/must change in lives in order to put this new family of ours at the top of our priority list.


In the meantime, I'm handling this busy time as best I can, praying for the strength and wisdom to move toward motherhood, and thankful for the people in my life who understand why I am often MIA.

Judge much?

Remember the adage...something about the things that annoy you the most about others are probably things that you're guilty of yourself? (I think it's an adage, if not, it's a Jane-ism compliments of my mother.) Anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot lately mostly because I can't seem to get away from judgment.

I'll start by fessing up. My name is Betty and I can be INCREDIBLY judgmental. I know this about myself--I'm not necessarily ok with it, nor to I accept it as who I will be forever, but I know that my natural tendency is to assume that my way it right/best. With that in mind, I will also say that I've come a long way. If you can believe it (and some of you can because you've known me for most of my life), I used to be even more judgmental than I am now. For much of my life I wrote it off as being opinionated, but I now realize it's more than that. 


With motherhood looming in front of me, I'm working on being a woman that Clark will be proud to have as his mother, and no part of me believes that being judgmental is part of the job description. I'm also realizing that this club of mothers that I'm about to join is not much different than a lot of other clubs or societies that I've been a part of or witnessed. My friend Sarah blogged just last week about mean girls. There's little value in me re-hashing what she said, so go read her post (and follow her blog while you're there) then head back here.


Sarah's observation about mothers being just as horrible to one another as the "Plastics" in the movie Mean Girls isn't a unique one this week. Just yesterday my sister-in-law/best friend Becky posted this article about women judging other women for staying home...or not staying home (because although we women may be bitches, at least we're equal opportunity bitches).


My point is this. While my child is still in utero, I've seen others judged for their choices (What?! You're ok with breastfeeding...in PUBLIC?!), and I'm sorry to say, I've even been the one judging. But what I'm realizing is what you might call another Jane-ism, we're all just doing the best that we can with what we have where we're at. It's possible that the mother sitting in front of me at church feeding her baby formula tried desperately for months to breast feed, but finally, finally was able to move past her own hang-ups and supplement or switch to formula for the health of her baby. Or maybe she never tried to breast feed. The thing is, it's not my business. And while I don't understand it and hope I'm never in that position, judging her doesn't help promote the greater good. It doesn't recognize that this woman has taken on what I already view as the most difficult job in the world. And it definitely doesn't make me the woman I want my children's mother to be. 


I don't believe I'll ever stop being opinionated. I have very specific beliefs about most things, and I won't apologize for believing that breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and non-processed foods are what's best for my baby. However, I'm done being judgmental about others who don't believe the same thing because if mothers can't get love from other mothers--women who have literally been there--then where can they get the love and appreciation they deserve?


Finally, the more I read about delivery and postpartum recovery the more love I have for all of you mothers because I'm seriously beginning to freak about this giving birth thing that's going to happen in a few months...but I'll leave that for my next post.

On with the show...

It's been over a week since I've blogged. This might upset me more than my readership, but to whomever is upset by this, I'm sorry. I have a good excuse though...I swear. 


About a year ago, something wonderful happened. Along with my dear friends Sarah and Jenn, I officially started Signature, Ink. LLC, a custom design company. We specialize in weddings but also create one-of-a-kind designs for essentially anything...birthday invitations, shower invitations, baby announcements, business cards...you name it. 


Yesterday we took part in our first bridal show. We're still waiting to see how well it truly went, but it FELT like it was a success! It took a ton of planning and preparation (it didn't help that it fell the weekend after final exams, the day after I had an all day training for my third job), so it took me away from the blog...and cleaning...and crafting...and cooking. BUT now that we've done one bridal show, all that follow should be much easier!


Here are a few pictures from the show. The booth was 98% finished when I took the pictures. We still needed to hang fabric under the boards, but by the time that happened, I totally spaced taking pictures. 

Sarah's dad made these presentation boards for us. After we hung fabric from the bottom, they were perfect. The three frames display examples of our three different wedding packages.

The water bottles from Signature, Ink. and Hoyle-Cunningham Photography were a HUGE hit! Our promotion for the show is framed with a copy of the magazine we were featured in.

Another project board made by Sarah's dad. Most of our past work.
Wow...we didn't realize we'd done so much!

Resolving...

One huge benefit of blogging is that you are able to look back at what you've done (or haven't done) in the past year. As I sat down to write 2012's resolutions, I took a look back at what I decided I should work on during 2011. If you don't want to read the whole post, here's a quick list along with a recap of how I did:


2011 Resolutions
1. Simplify. This year I sent a TON of stuff to Goodwill, the recycling plant, and landfill. We still have a ways to go as far as purging our home of stuff, but I think I'll call this a success. In addition, I stepped down from a couple of leadership positions in order to make time for more important endeavors.

2. Get back to basics. I didn't do too badly with this one either, although I still have a ways to go. By working on simplifying, I was in turn able to return to what is important. I don't think I'll ever pray enough, so that will always be on my list. As far as time with people who matter, that definitely happened this year. Between family vacations, impromptu dinners and phone conversations there are definitely relationships in my life that are stronger now than they were a year ago.


3. Cultivate the fruits of the Spirit. Of all the failures on this list, I feel the worst about this one. I won't elaborate, but I will carry this resolution over to 2012.

4. Focus on frugality. We made some cuts this year. Getting rid of cable was a big one, paying off the car and consistently saving also helped. With Clark on the way this will continue to be a priority though.

5. Document life. I did ok on this one, but not nearly what I wanted to do. Regular blogging helps, but maybe I should start wearing my camera wherever I go.


6. Authentic living. This one is hard to judge. I think there are many ways in the past year that I have begun to live out what I believe, but I know that there are relationships that have fallen by the wayside and priorities they get bumped that need to be focused on during 2012.


All that being said...
Here are my 2012 Resolutions:
1. Continue seeking simplicity.
2. Focus on family and authentic friendships.
3. Cultivate the fruits of the Spirit.
4. Choose frugality.
5. Work toward an organic, homemade lifestyle.
6. Make documenting life a priority.
7. Nurture creativity.
8. Complete at least 12 upcycling/DIY/refurbishing projects.
9. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
10. Cook and bake more of our food.

Antsy & Conflicted

For a variety of reasons, Michael and I have been tossing around the idea of picking up and moving--truly moving, like out of state--for a little over a year now. We've lived in the Midwest our entire lives, but recently, things in this part of the country are looking a little grim. At least forty-eight weeks out of the year I understand why our region often referred to as "the armpit of America". There's little I love about this area. In fact, since I know you love countdowns, I'll give you the...


Top 5 Reasons Michael & I Stay in NWI
5. The seasons- There have been times I've tried to talk Michael into moving out west and settling down in Phoenix. Some of my family is there, and I adore the dry heat and mountains. However, one of the reasons we stay put is because we both love the changing of the seasons. I can't imagine life without new flowers, falling leaves, and SNOW!


4. Chicago- One of the things I love most about where we live is being so close to Chicago. As a kid we could be in Chicago faster than we could be to the local Wal-Mart. The proximity to the city caused me to fall in love with the Windy City at a very young age. What would life be like if we didn't get to make our annual trip to the Walnut Room or venture out with our Lo to Sox and Bulls games?


3. Our jobs- There's little to say about this. Neither of us are in our "dream" job, but for the time being, they're secure and stable. The prospect of the unknown is a tad terrifying.


2. Our friends- We love our friends here. While I know that Michael and I would find friends wherever we went, there would be a hole if we didn't get to see these NWI people.


1. Our family- This one is the clincher. I think we could manage to uproot ourselves if not for our families. We're both so blessed to have amazing families! With our Lo on the way, having everyone nearby is going to be such a blessing. Between family parties, impromptu dinners, and attending our nieces' and nephews' many school and sporting events, life would feel a tad empty if we didn't have them.


What's the point of the post? this countdown? Well, our list is slowly being dismantled.


5. The seasons-There was no real spring this year. We went from winter to summer sometime in early June. It's December 12 and we've had hardly any snow! It's supposed to be 50 degrees on Thursday. So much for seasons.


4. Chicago- We love you, but truthfully, Chi-town, we could visit, right? Plus, now that we're an hour plus away, we don't make it downtown very often anyway.


3. Our jobs- We're both ready to be done and honestly, the prospect of an adventure is kind of nice right now.


2. Our friends- As we have all moved to different parts of the area, it's harder to see everyone on a regular basis. We love them, but also know that because they love us, they'd want us to search out new opportunities if that's what we felt called to.


1. Our family- This is our true hang-up. Mine in particular. I grew up far away from my mother's family. My dad's family has never been especially close, and to make matters worse, my brother, sister and I were the only kids on that side anyway. Now that Lo has a cousin so close to his age and the same gender in Finn, the idea of taking him away from that breaks my heart. I also know that leaving would kill both sets of our parents and probably our siblings. 


So that's where we're at. Antsy and conflicted. Tired of this place, but not sure if it's time to move on. Regardless, there are a lot of decisions to be made in the next year or so. In the mean time, I'll be doing a lot of praying for guidance and courage. If you do that sort of thing, feel free to send some prayers our way. We'd love some clarity.

Meal Plan for 8.14-8.20

At the beginning of the year, I started out with grand ideas that I would be able to: teach full time, pour my heart into starting a new business, cook dinner every night, save money, and run two blogs (not to mention be devoted to a strong marriage and maintain meaningful relationships). While many of these things happened (insert shameless plug for Signature, Ink. here), running two blogs, cooking every night, and saving money, haven't done so well. Thus, I'm just doing THIS blog, and to stay committed to cooking every night (or at least planning our meals), I'm updating you with our weekly menu. Hopefully it will save us money along the way!


8.14 Sunday--Jack Daniel's Chicken sandwiches (one of the pre-made dinners I'm okay with because it's seriously awesome!)


8.15 Monday--Italian beef (Thank you, CrockPot! Leftovers frozen for next time we have Italian beef.)


8.16 Tuesday--Shrimp linguine (1st day back to school. Crazy!


8.17 Wednesday--Chicken patties w/ Mac & Cheese (Michael's current favorite. Who needs kids when your husband eats like one?!)


8.18 Thursday--Stuffed peppers


8.19 Leftovers--Fridays will always be leftover night. We cannot eat all this food the night it's 
made!


8.20 Homemade Pizza


Keep me accountable--all three of you who read this on a regular basis! :)

Focus

"How about you pick a few things to do really well instead of trying to do sixteen different things some of the time?"

A valid question. A question that sounds like it was posed to one of my students, but in actuality, it came from husband, and it was directed at me. It was, well,  irritating.

Irritating or not, though, it was a gut check. It was needed. (One of the reasons I love Michael is that he urges me to be a better person.)

In the past few months, I've had a lot on my plate (despite my resolution to simplify). Most of it has been self-imposed. Co-chairing a charity event, teaching SAT prep classes 2 nights a week, creating a domestic/crafting blog, trying to cook at home everyday of the month, keeping up with my personal blog, not to mention "little" things like starting a business, teaching full-time, and being a wife, sister, daughter, and friend.  I'll admit, Michael was is right.

Focus is something we often take for granted. I realized this for the first time in my photography class as a high school sophomore. Before the age of digital photography, Mrs. Hastings (arguably the best teacher I ever had), set out to teach us hard work, patience, and a commitment to excellence; she handed us an Nikon SLR. There was a lot to learn, but how to FOCUS the lens was the first lesson. If you've every worked in a dark room (or on PhotoShop) you know that you can fix most things in there, but if your focus is off, what may have been a gorgeous shot, can be ruined. You can fake exposure, motion, and color. You can't fake focus. 


Last week, while Sarah was working on the computer in my classroom, she mentioned that my computer screen was blurry. Since she's bossier than I, she immediately sent an email to our tech department (from my email account) asking them to remedy this issue. They were there the next day, and I now have a perfectly in focus monitor and no longer have headaches when I leave at the end of the day.


Whether it's our cameras, computer screens, or lives, focus is so important. It allows us to see the picture clearly, highlights beauty, and brings order and peace. I needed to be reminded to find focus, and I plan on doing just that.


For me, finding focus means that I am... 


giving up the positions with my charity;


finishing the SAT classes I've committed to, but NEVER doing more than one a week again;


cooking at home when I can, but not feeling guilty when I don't;


blogging for Domestic Diversions when it's fun, but not pressuring myself to meet a quota;


blogging here often, but realizing that it's OKAY, even preferred if posts are short;


teaching to the best of my ability, but not getting irritated by the minutiae of it all;


working my butt off to get the new business up and running so I can forever do what I love;


checking in with friends often;


hanging out with my family to create memories;


spending quality time with Michael and our puppies;


and seeking God's guidance in all things so that I may follow the path He intends for me.