Saturday, October 29, 2011

A letter to Lo

My dear, sweet, little one,

Much of my day is spent thinking about you and who you will become. I wonder what you will do with this life that God has given you, given us. Once I found out I was pregnant, I had a new understanding and appreciation for the concept of "praying without ceasing". As much as I think of you, I know that most of this "thinking" is actually praying because the truth is I don't know what I'm doing. And honestly, I don't know if I'll ever feel like your father and I know what we're doing when it comes to being parents. I assume that there will be a lot of faking it. 

My mom used to tell me that even before your Uncle Randy, Aunt Courtney and I were born she would pray for our future spouses. At the time I thought she was a little nuts (I was 16 or 17--you'll think I'm crazy when you're that age too), now I pray for whoever you marry. (You'll be happy I did one day. I'm grateful everyday for your grandmother's prayers because I truly believed they helped bring your father and me together.) 

I pray that one day you'll know Christ and trust Him. It would be an honor if you came to that decision because you see the relationships your father and I have with Christ, but I will be the first to admit that sometimes faith is hard and just like a marriage, it can take work. There will be times that you don't understand God. You'll feel abandoned and boxed in. Following Christ doesn't always feel good, but in the end it's one of the only decisions you can look back on and be proud of and feel comforted by. I pray that you won't get caught up in the religion of Christianity, but instead that you'll love Jesus and love others the way he told us to. 

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