A Shower for our Boy

We were incredibly blessed to actually have TWO showers for our Clark. (I'll have to post pictures from the family shower "back home" in McHenry later this week--they're still on my camera which is charging.) I have a tendency to go on and on in long-winded explanations when I blog. Fortunately for you, Becky took great pictures, so I'll mostly let them tell the story. I will say that the day was PERFECT! I couldn't have asked for a shower that was more "us"! Our moms and sisters truly outdid themselves, and I am left with some precious memories. We couldn't be more thankful.

Welcome table with escort cards and "guest blocks". 

"Guest blocks" for everyone to sign and one of my favorite pictures from our maternity shoot.

Aww...Mommy & Daddy escort cards--so sweet, Courtney!

Centerpieces (each table had a letter and a coordinating item) & games

C is for Clark--LOVE our ultrasound picture of the little man!

Beautiful cake by our "Cake Lady"--I swear we didn't realize that his initials would be CWS until AFTER we decided on his name. It's a nice tribute to our Chicago White Sox, though. 

Prize table--Nice job Jen & Laura!

Not sure what my hair was doing, but we're pretty excited to be Mommy & Daddy! 

With Mono--Michael's mom

With Grandma (we're still waiting on Finn to give her  a unique name)--My mom

From the left, Grandma Hoyle, Aunt Lillian, Grandma Samples, & Grandma Gladys (one of my godmothers)

Holy gift table! Our friends and family were so incredibly thoughtful and generous!  Somehow we were able to get (most) everything to fit in the house!

Jenn, me, & Becky--We've been friends for nearly FIFTEEN years, and once Clark is here, we'll have four kids between the three of us!

Sisters & Nieces!
Back row: Michael's sisters-Jen & Laura, our niece (Jen's daughter), Ashley, me & Michael
Front row: Our niece (Laura's daughter), Nicole, My sisters-Courtney & Becky 

Finn came to the shower so Uncle Mike didn't have to be the only boy. ;)
We can't WAIT for him and Clark to play together! We're hoping they become the best of friends!

There were plenty of gift shots, but there's no need to post them all. This onesie (from Jenn) was one of my favorites!

The Girls!
From left: Chrisanne & Tenley, Beth (Reagan was with her grandma), me, Becky & Finn
We're missing Rachel & Violet in this one (it's excusable seeing as how Violet was  less than two weeks old at the time!)

Leslie mad it in from Chicago for the shower--we were so thrilled she did!

I wish we had been able to get pictures with everyone who came, however, the memories made that day with everyone who showed their love and support will always be me. Clark, I pray that you never forget that even before you were here, you were so incredibly loved by so many!

Maternity Pictures & 1 month

I LOVE St. Patrick's Day! I always have. There are many reasons why I am proud to be a part of my grandmother's family, but one reason that I am particularly proud is due to the Irish heritage of the Brennan family. I grew up with my Aunt Georgia telling stories about kissing the Blarney Stone, going to funerals that were true celebrations of life, and falling in love with all things Irish. I bring this up for several reasons, 1) Saturday (St. Patrick's Day) was one of the ONLY days during my entire pregnancy I was seriously bummed that I couldn't drink (Clark--you're totally worth it, but Mommy wanted a beer), 2) I was excited that we took our maternity pictures on St. Paddy's Day because I'll ALWAYS remember it, and 3) Somehow it made the pictures of me in the rocking chair my Grandma Betty bought for my mother when she was pregnant with me all that more special.

Before I share those pictures, I'll give you some exciting news. I'm 33 weeks right now which means that in ONE MONTH Clark will be full term and if he came, it would be ok. One. Month. So terrifying. So exciting!

A special thanks to my wonderful best friend and sister-in-law, Becky Hoyle, for taking our maternity pictures. I'm posting my favorites (all of which came from our preview--Beck, you have such good taste!), so for those of you who are not on Facebook and have been demanding belly shots, you should be appeased. After you finish this post, click on over to Hoyle-Cunningham Photography or go like them on Facebook, because seriously, I have some amazingly talented friends/family!

This is the chair my Grandma Betty gave my mom when she was carrying me. It was super important to me to have it in the nursery. All I  did was paint it white to match Clark's room.

So artsy. So beautiful.

Bruce (left) and Bentley (right) know something is up, but I doubt they have any clue how much their lives our going to change in the next several weeks. (We kind of feel the same way!)

One of the only bare belly shots I actually LOVE!

Clark's room is almost done. The only things left to do are finish the prints that will be framed and hung on the walls and buy/assemble the bookshelf.

Love this.

One of my favorites. It's amazing how I look like I'm all belly--I swear I'm not!

31.

Now seems as good a time as any to reflect on the past several months and look forward to the future. It's amazing to me that time has gone by so quickly. I was warned that it would. I anticipated it doing so, yet somehow, I was caught off guard when I realized that a week from from Thursday I'll be two months away from my due guess date.

While I'm practically giddy to meet our little boy, when I think back on the past 30 weeks, part of me is sad that this time is going to be over so soon. I've really loved being pregnant (even if it has meant giving up cold turkey sandwiches *sniff, sniff* and coffee *sob, sob*)! In fact, the other week week I was talking to my best friend Chrisanne and telling her that while I can't WAIT to see Clark on the outside of my growing tummy, part of me will miss having him there and knowing that he's with me and safe. She guaranteed me that while she felt similarly with her little girl, Tenley, they're much more fun to play with on the outside. :)

I'm also grateful that I've had such a complication-free pregnancy. Each check-up has been "perfect." Even my weight (which I was nervous about) is on track according to my midwife. I don't want to be arrogant or fool-hardy and assume that all will go "perfectly" during our delivery, but the fact that I haven't had problems thus far makes me a little more optimistic.

What has not changed is how busy I am during the spring. I'm irritated with myself that I haven't blogged in a MONTH! Slightly more irritated that this post is coming a week after I planned for it to (it was originally titled "The Big 3-0!"--now, however, "The Big 3-1!" doesn't have the same ring to it). Last week I finished teaching my first of three test prep classes. Last night started #3 and after Thursday I'll be half way finished with #2. Between regular work, teaching test prep 1-2 nights a week and all the weddings we're finishing for Signature, Ink., I'm definitely keeping busy while waiting for our little one's arrival.

I'll post a belly picture soon. I just need to find time when I'm at home to move it from my camera to computer.

Busy.

With the way life has been recently, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. I have had to get real with myself about the fact that currently, I am NOT being paid to blog, thus the things I AM being paid for (or should be getting paid for--here's hoping Signature, Ink. actually MAKES money this year!) need to take priority. That being said, I'm happy-ish that I can be blogging once a week. 


I can't think back on a time in my life that I wasn't busy with something, and this pregnancy is proving to be the just more of the same. Between school (ugh. school--hopefully this will be one of my last years teaching), working to start a business, and my side gig teaching SAT & ACT prep courses at night I'm happy when I can squeeze in a little TV time with the hubs or dinner with a good friend. Presently, I'm grateful to steal a few quiet morning moments in between Signature, Ink. invoicing/bookkeeping and getting ready for my nephew Finn's 1st birthday party to blog a bit--for me.


Being busy like this has me looking forward to the weeks after Clark is born. While I'm 100% aware (although I'm sure not truly prepared) for six plus weeks of pure exhaustion, part of me is truly looking forward to the opportunity to be busy with one thing--my new family. School will be handled by a substitute. At least four of the six weddings we are currently working on will be in production or done. SAT & ACT classes will be finished. And I will be ridiculously tired and completely in love with the new man in my life. I'm praying that those weeks will not only be an amazingly precious time for me to cherish, but also a time for Michael and me to make some discoveries and decisions about what can/must change in lives in order to put this new family of ours at the top of our priority list.


In the meantime, I'm handling this busy time as best I can, praying for the strength and wisdom to move toward motherhood, and thankful for the people in my life who understand why I am often MIA.

Fear

As promised in my last post, it's time to talk about the fear of childbirth. From all I've read and been told, EVERY woman experiences a modicum of fear when considering birthing her child. It apparently took 24 weeks for that fear to set in for me. Last week I had a true breakdown that resulted in Michael being soaked in my tears. So, what threw me into such terror? Well, other women, of course.

It was mostly my fault. I should have known better. I've spent most of my online-adult life avoiding forums. Rarely is there anything of value on these cyber traps, but I just couldn't resist the thread on my baby site titled "What no one tells you about delivery." In truth, I clicked the link with an air of  "tell me something I don't know." After all, I've read a LOT about birth. I've had friends who have recently given birth who have shared their stories. I felt that I was prepared, educated, ready.

About 80 responses in to the thread that should have been more accurately titled "Let's try to scare all new moms to death (or into scheduled c-sections)", I started freaking out. How had I been so lead astray? Were my "friends" maintaining some sort of pact in this new mommy club they joined? Had they promised to tell enough of the truth to appease me but kept the real horrors of childbirth to themselves only to dupe some other poor sap (i.e. me) into pregnancy only to relish in her demise? (Lord help us if our son has my flare for the dramatic.)

I went straight to (one of) the source(s), my dear friend Sarah who is currently carrying her second child. (Baby VP 2.0 is due just a few weeks before our Clark!) After announcing that I was incredibly mad at her for lying to me, (you should know is that Sarah is also one of my business partners in Signature, Ink., a fellow teacher, one of my spiritual mentors, and easily my closest rival when it comes to being bossy, so she is used to my accusatory demeanor) I proceeded to explain why. I'll spare you the details because really, they're gross and it turns out that everything I was afraid of, according to Sarah, was not shared with me because it didn't happen or is "not normal and those people should see a doctor."

Where does this leave my fear quotient? Much lower than it was after reading the scary forum, but slightly higher than it was, let's say, 7 months ago. I know that reading will only do so much to prepare me for task of giving birth and that the classes we'll be taking will help a bit more. I also know that women, some of whom are  much stronger than me, but many who are much weaker than I am have done this for thousands of years. Our child will come into this world and all will be well. In the mean time, I'm reading, praying, and seriously considering purchasing Hypnobabies. At this point, any relaxation has to help!

Judge much?

Remember the adage...something about the things that annoy you the most about others are probably things that you're guilty of yourself? (I think it's an adage, if not, it's a Jane-ism compliments of my mother.) Anyway, I've been thinking about this a lot lately mostly because I can't seem to get away from judgment.

I'll start by fessing up. My name is Betty and I can be INCREDIBLY judgmental. I know this about myself--I'm not necessarily ok with it, nor to I accept it as who I will be forever, but I know that my natural tendency is to assume that my way it right/best. With that in mind, I will also say that I've come a long way. If you can believe it (and some of you can because you've known me for most of my life), I used to be even more judgmental than I am now. For much of my life I wrote it off as being opinionated, but I now realize it's more than that. 


With motherhood looming in front of me, I'm working on being a woman that Clark will be proud to have as his mother, and no part of me believes that being judgmental is part of the job description. I'm also realizing that this club of mothers that I'm about to join is not much different than a lot of other clubs or societies that I've been a part of or witnessed. My friend Sarah blogged just last week about mean girls. There's little value in me re-hashing what she said, so go read her post (and follow her blog while you're there) then head back here.


Sarah's observation about mothers being just as horrible to one another as the "Plastics" in the movie Mean Girls isn't a unique one this week. Just yesterday my sister-in-law/best friend Becky posted this article about women judging other women for staying home...or not staying home (because although we women may be bitches, at least we're equal opportunity bitches).


My point is this. While my child is still in utero, I've seen others judged for their choices (What?! You're ok with breastfeeding...in PUBLIC?!), and I'm sorry to say, I've even been the one judging. But what I'm realizing is what you might call another Jane-ism, we're all just doing the best that we can with what we have where we're at. It's possible that the mother sitting in front of me at church feeding her baby formula tried desperately for months to breast feed, but finally, finally was able to move past her own hang-ups and supplement or switch to formula for the health of her baby. Or maybe she never tried to breast feed. The thing is, it's not my business. And while I don't understand it and hope I'm never in that position, judging her doesn't help promote the greater good. It doesn't recognize that this woman has taken on what I already view as the most difficult job in the world. And it definitely doesn't make me the woman I want my children's mother to be. 


I don't believe I'll ever stop being opinionated. I have very specific beliefs about most things, and I won't apologize for believing that breastfeeding, cloth diapering, and non-processed foods are what's best for my baby. However, I'm done being judgmental about others who don't believe the same thing because if mothers can't get love from other mothers--women who have literally been there--then where can they get the love and appreciation they deserve?


Finally, the more I read about delivery and postpartum recovery the more love I have for all of you mothers because I'm seriously beginning to freak about this giving birth thing that's going to happen in a few months...but I'll leave that for my next post.

On with the show...

It's been over a week since I've blogged. This might upset me more than my readership, but to whomever is upset by this, I'm sorry. I have a good excuse though...I swear. 


About a year ago, something wonderful happened. Along with my dear friends Sarah and Jenn, I officially started Signature, Ink. LLC, a custom design company. We specialize in weddings but also create one-of-a-kind designs for essentially anything...birthday invitations, shower invitations, baby announcements, business cards...you name it. 


Yesterday we took part in our first bridal show. We're still waiting to see how well it truly went, but it FELT like it was a success! It took a ton of planning and preparation (it didn't help that it fell the weekend after final exams, the day after I had an all day training for my third job), so it took me away from the blog...and cleaning...and crafting...and cooking. BUT now that we've done one bridal show, all that follow should be much easier!


Here are a few pictures from the show. The booth was 98% finished when I took the pictures. We still needed to hang fabric under the boards, but by the time that happened, I totally spaced taking pictures. 

Sarah's dad made these presentation boards for us. After we hung fabric from the bottom, they were perfect. The three frames display examples of our three different wedding packages.

The water bottles from Signature, Ink. and Hoyle-Cunningham Photography were a HUGE hit! Our promotion for the show is framed with a copy of the magazine we were featured in.

Another project board made by Sarah's dad. Most of our past work.
Wow...we didn't realize we'd done so much!