Samples of a Life?

Let it be said that coming up with a name for my blog created pressure that I can't even express to you. (The reason for the change is completely because when I first signed up for a blog over a year ago (because Sarah MADE me), I wasn't really sure that I would follow want to deal with it. Thinking about my future inbox crammed full with e-mails about a blog I never update, I craftily used my "junk" e-mail address (the one I give to stores for discounts, bars for free booze, and whichever website is about to tell me how to have a flat stomach in 2 days AFTER I handover my prized e-mail address). In the past year, a lot has changed. The blogging concept is more attractive. Maybe it's because I'm more mature--ok, we know that's NOT it. Anyway, blogger is stupid and wouldn't let me change my e-mail address, so I changed my blog.) Samples of a Life came to me at some point. Having this new name Samples, I decided it would be best if it were used for good instead of evil. (For those of you who don't know, my middle name initial is J and the combination of BJ and well...you get the picture.) The more I thought about it, a blog really is a sample of a life...my life. People who are close to me know that I sample an infinite number of emotions and feelings a day as well. Thus, Samples of a Life seemed fitting. So that's what this blog will hopefully be, a sample of where I am in my life. Thanks for following. :)

Apathy and Settling

When it comes down to it...I'm a sham. It's not a revelation I particularly enjoy fessing up to, but it's true nonetheless. I spent years growing up in a Christian home, surrounded by values and dialogue about Christ. After graduating high school, I went to t Christian college. I decided to go into teaching, partially out of obligation to follow in my mother's footsteps, but mostly because I believed in the possiblity of helping others. God had given me hands to serve, hadn't He? I worked hard while in school. I even served here and there when it was comfortable...I worked with teen moms, took a job as an RA, and periodically participated in campus activities that focused on the less fortunate. Four years later, I graduated from this Christian institution, moved home, found a job, and settled in. Settled. Settled. Settled.

Now I'm married, live in a comfortable home in a safe suburb, drive a safe car, and deal with, for all intensive purposes, safe kids. At 27, I have to ask the question, have I settled?

My knee-jerk reaction is no. Of course I haven't settled. You see, for many years I associated "settling" with one aspect of my life: my future spouse. I went through a time where I was close to settling for a less than perfect-for-me husband, but now? Now, I am married to a wonderful man who loves me, and more importantly, loves God, but I still have this nagging feeling that maybe there's more out there for me to do...for us to do.

I wonder if there's something I've been called to that I haven't found yet. In a world so desperate to know God, to be reassured of acceptance and love, what do I do? Who do I influence? Where is my passion to show others Christ? At this point, I have way more questions than answers. Maybe this will always be the case, but regardless, it's time to start searching.

...95 days to go...

About two weeks later, I'm back to blogging. In fairness, I started a couple of other posts last week, but never finished them. Those who know me well are certainly NOT surprised by this. To say that I should have "Procrastination" as my middle name is an understatement.

Sarah informed me today that she had good news. She should have put "good" in air quotes to add the appropriate sentiment because the news she delivered was that there are 95 days until our mini. Ninety. Five. Days. This did not seem like "good" news. It hit me as "Oh, my gosh, are you kidding me?" news. At the beginning of Week #4, I'm not anywhere NEAR where I was. I'm topping out at a consecutive mile of running before a rest break. NOT what I want. I feel like a pansy.

On an up note, I loaded my iPod with the entire Twilight saga and Harry Potter series. For some reason, if I'm able to focus on Edward and Bella's forbidden love, or "The Boy Who Lived," I'm less likely to want to rip my lungs out of my chest. Speaking of my lungs, I am desperate for the weather to be better. I truly believe this treadmill running is worse because there are days that I just don't feel like there's enough oxygen in the weight room to energize the 50+ grunting student athletes AND me.

Finally, Sarah has mono. Actually, she has the virus formally known as mono since she's too old to actually have mono. (Credit for that quippy title belongs to Brandi or Rhonda, not me...it was a Blue Day lunch creation.) In all honesty, she's been a much better trooper than I think I would be were I sick with "not mono." Again, those who know me will tell you that I tend to be a bit of a whiner...Ok, fine. I'm a ridiculous whiner. I've also been known to stomp my foot in protest. That being said, when Sarah sucked it up and trained yesterday, I was impressed. So impressed, in fact, that her dedication caused me to run by myself today because Sarah had to put on her "Mom" hat and take a sick toddler to the doctor. (Poor Miles:()

So here we are...95 days...on the way...to a mini.

...to beginning Week #4 of training.

So...training last week...sucked. Seriously...it was NO FUN!

...to finishing Week #2 of training.

In many ways, I feel like this was our first REAL week of training. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I had to ice my knee for the first time. I had some minor pain during my run on Wednesday, but truly ran through the pain yesterday during our 3 mile run. It kind of sucked, but it was awesome all at the same time. It was also during that run that I became confident that this mini will be better than the last. I told Sarah that there were at least three times during our run that I wanted to quit, but kept going because she was. I'm not sure how people can train on their own. There is so much benefit to having the accountablity and support of someone who's going through the same thing you are. Week #2...success.

...to REALLY Training...

Yes, I know that I suck at blogging. It's been over two months since my last post. On a semi-up note...it's truly our 2nd week of training. Our previous training sessions were really "pre-training" sessions. We were both so out of shape that we had to train to train!

Where are we now? 8 training sessions down. I'm still not where I was before my last mini. I miss being able to run 2+ miles without stopping at all. I know I'll get there again, but it's frustrating right now. Even saying all of that...I'm happy to be running again. Often it SUCKS in the moment. Sarah and I often look at each other and comment on that very fact, but I feel like a million (sweaty) bucks when it's all over. There's still a long way to go, but we're doing it. In fact, I'm thinking I might need to sign up for at least two big races every year in order to keep running. Because, honestly, unless I HAVE to train/run, I often find excuses to NOT train/run. I pray that someday I won't be that way, but right now, I'm doing what works. All this rambling to say, I'm glad Sarah called me in Septemeber and said, "Do you want to run the Indy Mini with me?" I'm even more glad that I said, "Yes!"

...to the end of Week 3 of training.

Two and a half weeks down...twenty-six and a half weeks to go. Twenty. Six. And a half. Weeks. I'm looking at the positive aspects of this much time before Sarah and I run our half marathon. Obviously, running is only going to get easier and more enjoyable as time goes on. During training for my last mini, I remember being able to run 5 miles at a time and actually loving it. In the middle of week three, I'm enjoying 10 minutes at a time. What's great is that I know that it will get better, and it's nice to feel good running again.

Sarah is an awesome running buddy. She even followed our schedule while she was in D.C. with her Quiver kids for the national convention. (This is more than I can say for myself. I did NOT run last Saturday due to a day long trip to Indianapolis.)