I blinked---4 years later

Oh, my. So much has changed. I stopped blogging years ago. Life caught up with me and I got overwhelmed. I started critiquing what I was writing. I got nervous that maybe I was sharing too much. I didn't feel the urge to write.

Things are different now. I'm worried that if I don't start writing again that I'll lose everything. The memories, the feelings, myself. Writing seems necessary these days. These days of self-discovery. So I'm back here. To document. To remember. To sort things out. To feel again. If you're still following this somehow, HELLO! More than likely though, these words will be for me until I write something worth sharing, and honestly, that's more than alright.

Someone is 18 Months Old

Can we take a moment and say, "How ON EARTH did THAT happen?" Seriously?! Our boy is 18 months old. While I've completely sucked at blogging (other things have taken priority), I wanted to make some notes about this crazy milestone. 

I know that I might be a little biased, but Clark is awesome. He's so sweet and funny. His favorite thing is giving kisses. Sometimes blows them to us (Mwah!) and other times he plants these open mouth kisses lovingly on our mouths. He melts my heart every single time. While he has a soft side, there's not doubt that he's a rough and tumble boy. He runs and climbs and screams while doing it all. He loves books, his kitchen, and spends much of his time saying "Uh-oh!" He's not talking much more than that, but Mike and I are convinced that it's because he knows he gets what he needs without talking. (He's a pro at pointing with his chubby little finger.) 

Although he won't be an only child forever (don't get any crazy ideas--we're talking years here, people), we're loving that he is right now. 

Here are some of my favorite photos from right now. 

Munchie Monday: Apple Pancake Wontons

One of my favorite blogs of the moment is Emily Bites. It's no wonder that as I've been getting back to healthy eating that a food blog would make my top ten. After I made her lasagna "cupcakes" I was not only thrilled to add this recipe to my regular dinner rotation, but I was also sold on wonton wrappers. How had I never seen their potential?

The morning after the very successful "lasagna" dinner, I was considering how to use the rest of my wonton wrappers while also craving one of my favorite breakfast foods--German apple pancake. I can't express to you how much I LOVE these things! My mom makes four to five of these every year for Christmas breakfast (mostly because my brother and I can take down one a piece if we're hungry enough). The original recipe calls for lots of eggs, butter, and flour. Weight Watchers friendly it isn't. So, I decided to do a little recipe revamp and guess what? I hit the jackpot! Without further adieu, I bring you my latest original (I'm saying this original, but truthfully, it probably exists somewhere out there already) recipe:

Apple Pancake Wontons

Ingredients:
-24 wonton wrappers
-1 large apple
-3/4 c. egg substitute
-1 tsp. vanilla
-Stevia (or your choice of zero calorie sweetener)
-Cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit

2. Spray muffin tin with cooking spray and place two wonton wrappers (situated to make a star) into each opening.

3. Cube apple and toss with cinnamon and Stevia to taste (I use 2 packets of Stevia)

4. Spoon apples into wonton wrappers.

5. Mix vanilla, egg substitute and 1-2 packets of Stevia together. Spoon egg mixture into wonton wrappers over apples. Apples should still peek through the mixture

6. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Allow to cool for 3-5 minutes before carefully running a knife along the edge of each "pancake".

7. Enjoy with a little zero calorie syrup!

These refrigerate well. I haven't tried freezing yet, but if you do, let me know how they are.

WW Points +: 4 "Pancakes" for 5 points

A PSA to my healthier self

There are going to be times on this journey that you're going to want to return to your old habits. You'll think to yourself, "It's a holiday," or "I've been so good, a little splurge can't hurt," or (and this is my favorite) "Other people have lost weight by taking weekends 'off'; you can too!" Here's the thing. Those things may be true, but returning to your old habits for just a day or two can/will probably, most definitely leave you feeling like crap. I'm citing Easter 2013 as proof. Get back on track tomorrow, Healthy Betty. You'll thank me. And the next time you want to go rogue, remember the agony of reliving that second helping of Polish sausage. :/

Weigh In Wednesday: Off to a GOOD Start!

I wish I was the quippy individual who created Weigh In Wednesday--I am not. BUT I will use it here because of aforementioned quip.

One week in on Weight Watchers (No, I'm not paying for it this time. Yes, I once again love my iPhone and its free apps.) and I'm down 2.2 pounds. I'll take it. After all, it's slow but steady right? And, I have a track record of being really good at failing when it comes to weight loss.

I was word vomiting talking to my dear friend Sarah this morning about my most recent weight loss commitment (really only because she saw my current desktop background which says, "The voice that says you can't do it is a lying slut"--except she only saw the "lying slut" part and need explanation) and basically put it this way: I need to grow up. I'm freaking THIRTY YEARS OLD. *sigh & WTF* I've never been a person who can eat whatever the hell I want without consequence, so why any part of me thinks that this awesome metabolism would kick in now is beyond me.

I had started a different blog to document my weight loss, but really, "ain't nobody got time fo dat!", so, you guys are getting it here. It's probably better for me anyway. If I know that all six of you are reading this it might  be the same as going to meetings. (All I could think right then was, "Hi. My name is Betty, and I'm a fatty."--new blog title?)

Maybe someday I'll publicly disclose my start weight, but that day is not today. For now, you may know that I'm down 2.2 leaving me 32.8 lbs away from my goal weight (47.8 lbs away from my DREAM weight).

Well, hello there!

Remember when I used to blog? I'm sure those of you who are a part of my small readership have been happy to have a break from absolutely lost without my random nonsense. I'm hoping you'll graciously accept me back into your reading routines as I'm hoping to be better about blogging at least a couple times a week (as opposed to once every six months).

I have a lot of work to do today while CW is at daycare, but I did want to post a little something. (I think one of the reasons I don't blog more is because I think of each post as an essay--when it's easier and shorter, more like a status update, it's more likely to happen.) For those of you who are close to me (that would be about half of you!), you know that I've been having serious body image issues.  What I've realized through dealing with these feelings of inadequacy is that I need to focus and be committed to being healthier. It's not just about me anymore. CW needs parents who are modeling a healthy lifestyle. So, today is...

NO EXCUSES TUESDAY!

I've been wanting to start running again. A few years ago I was logging 5 miles daily (I think back now and realize that if I had been eating better too, I may have actually reached my goal weight!), and I've missed the runner's high I get and how good I feel. The problem for the past few months is that I've been doing a lot of wanting but not much running. I've rationalized it by whining about not having access to a treadmill in the stupid cold of Chicagoland. This morning though, after I dropped the boy at daycare, I came home, laced up and got my booty out on the road. 

The Chicago Color Run is June 16, and I want to be ready! So, this is my reentry into the blogosphere. Maybe it will be a little bit of accountability? Here's hoping. 

My Next 30 Years...

I'm a country girl at heart. I love visiting the big city (especially now that my best friend, Leslie, has an amazing apartment in Chicago), but if I had to choose where Michael and I would ultimately raise our family, I'd choose the nearby corn fields in a heart beat. It's no surprise then, that with the end of my twenties looming in front of me, I've been listening to Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years" a lot recently. 

I remember when the song came out. I was in high school, and thirty seemed a lifetime away. The lyrics were sweet and sentimental, but they didn't really resonate with me. Now, however, many of the words sing the story of my life. Here are the highlights:

I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age--Celebrate? I suppose it's worth celebrating that I've made it this far, and while I don't love the number, I'm grateful that I'm not 21 again...seriously.

The ending of an era and the turning of a page--Today I turned thirty. I sent my son to daycare for the first time (he didn't cry; I did), and I began a new career. If that's not the end of an era, I don't know what is. The upside is that the page has been turned and I'm off to write a new chapter.

Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here--If you read this blog with any regularity, you know I've been working on focus. Now seems as good a time as any to really master it. 

Lord have mercy on my next thirty years--Another truth is that God has definitely had mercy on my past thirty years. My marriage, son, friends, family, job, and countless other things are testament to that. I am blessed, plain and simple.

Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun--This is not the end of my fun. Ladies (specifically: Becky, Chrisanne, Beth, Rachel, Jenn--take notice!)

Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done--I don't feel that this is necessary. Those crazy things got me there. And truthfully, there are quite a few that I'm already a little hazy on the details. ;)


Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years--Not sure this has happened, but I plan on getting over them in the next thirty. 

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years--This needs to be my mantra. 

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late--Time to get that body back(ish) for real! 

Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years--I should also include "Keep my damn mouth shut and not say stupid shit while I'm drinking" to this.

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life--If this is true, life will be amazing because the past thirty have (overall) been awesome!


Raise a little family and hang out with my wife husband--Ok, this doesn't rhyme, but you get the point. At the end of the day, the time I have with my family is the most important. I look forward to someday seeing the family we will have, the child(ren) we will raise, and the life we will build. I can't imagine loving Michael and Clark more than I do today, and yet somehow, there's never a day that I loved them more the day before.


Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear--This next thirty will consist of genuine relationships. I pray that I remember these words and drink in the moments with the people who are most important to me. 

Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years--In true Betty fashion, I've got a plan and a checklist. It might not be filled with concrete items, but I'm pretty sure it's the greatest checklist I've ever written.